My Jeans

Hi

The past couple weeks for me have not been the same. On an emotional and physical level. You see, my older brother, Umar, took my favorite pair of jeans from me. Really, I can't tell you what this does to me when I can't wear them. No disrespect to my other jeans -- they still clothe me -- but they just cannot provide that same level of comfort as my favorite pair do. We have a lot of history. Years of it, actually. And that's irrespective of the fact that it's not a fancy shmancy elite name brand. It's none other than Mossimo. And I love it.

So when Umar somehow accidentally took it with him to Milwaukee, I was confused (Umar is approximately 1/2 my size). Do I drive up there to get them back? Or should I wait a week for when he gets back? Against my better judgment, I decided to wait a week. But as soon as he stepped into the house last weekend, I of course ask him the whereabouts of my jeans. And of course Umar tells me that he forgot them. So I had to suffer another week without them. I came really, really close to wearing khakis or even look business professional at work for once. Thankfully, however, I stopped myself from such agony and went with the back-up jeans. One is a standard Lee jeans, the other DKNY (which is steadily gaining on my Lee jeans as my second favorite pair).

So, anyway, knowing that Umar was going to come home today, I left him about five voicemail messages last night and early this morning reminding him to bring my jeans. And much to my joy, Umar brought them (as this blog entry is undoubtedly a testament to).

I immediately stripped down and wore my jeans. The feeling was sensational.

Umar was confused by it all. "Dude," he started, "you act like I brought you your favorite woman or something." To which I replied, "You did one step better, my brother."

To better understand my love affair with my jeans, let's take a look at the pros and cons of both to help illustrate my point:

Your favorite pair of jeans:
Pros
- Wear them when you want or take them off when you want.
- Comfortable. Better than your pj's, in fact.
- Never speak back to you.
- Altruistic. Always there for you. They don't care if you rip them, don't wash them, etc. You never have to spend money on it.
- Never get tired of seeing them.
- Still enjoyable even when old and unkept.

Cons
- After many, many years of abuse, they eventually fall part. But is that really their fault?

Your woman:
Pros
- Hot/fun
- Comfortable. Better than your pj's, in fact.

Cons
- $$$$$$
- $$$$$$
- Cannot spend time with her when you want or get away from her when you want.
- They talk a lot. "How was your day?" she'll ask. Just before you say "Fine," she'll say, "Well, OMG! You know Stacy at work, right? Well she said.........[10 min later]....and I'm like, 'I'm so qualified for this project, Mr. Smith'......[30 min later].....and then the idiot cut me off in the middle lane.....blah blah blah"
- Unenjoyable when old and unkept.

Haha. I know I just forever screwed my chances of ever having a girl. Oh well, at least I got my jeans...

Later