Zardari Romances Palin

AA

If the McCain-Palin ticket wins the election (azubillah), we can expect to have at least one Clinton-Lewinsky-esque scandal in the office.

No, not between McCain and Palin, but rather Palin and Pakistan's own President - Asif Ali Zardari. I kid you not:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHHcf6ZNVM8

Can't you just feel the romance?

How sad is it that Zardari is essentially being turned on as he holds her hand and is visibly making her feel uncomfortable? If I could talk to Zardari in person, I'd remind him a few things:

Me: Zardari, I don't like you and no one really does but you've done a helluva job coercing yourself into the presidency.

Zardari: Oh yes, thank you. It took a long time, but I finally succeeded.

Me: Speaking of succeeding, how's your ex-wife?

Zardari: Kya?

Me: Nevermind. So, Mr. President...mind if I call you Z? Thanks. Look, I wanted to talk to you about Governor Sarah Palin.

Zardari: Oh yaar, this is my new favorite subject! She is so gorgeous, you know, yaar? Balle balle!

Me: Whatever you say, Chief. Look...oh, please stop the bhangra first...ok, thanks...I just wanted to remind you that this woman has never met a foreigner in her life, except for some Russians she spies on with her binoculars. So can we at least turn down that eerie, self-absorbed, way-too-happy smile of yours just a little bit, ok?

Zardari: But I cannot help it! Mera dil tarasta hain. Uski shakal chand jasi hae! Vohi hae pyar. Vohi...

Me: Ok, ok, I get it, Z. Please stop the shiari. I mean, after meeting a class act guy like you, and if she does become the VP, she's going to go right back to McCain and say, "Let's blow the hell outta of those Pakistani creeps."

Zardari: But this is exactly what I vant, janab! For her to totally level this country out because I will do that ewentually myself, you know? I've already been blown away with her, why not again, but literally get blown away?!

[Zardari's creepy smile emerges and laugther ensues.]

And so a budding romance potentially begins...

This is why we need Obama to win. Please don't make me have this conversation with Zardari. Please don't let us see any more videos like the one from the link above (though I have a suspicious feeling that moving forward Zardari has taken sudden interest in developing Alaskan-Pakistani relations).


Cheers

Iftar Party 2008: Guest Blogger - Masood

AA All

Wow, has it been a long, long time my friends. This is what happens when you get married, though. The things you like to do you can't do anymore. And the things that you used to laugh at (or more accurately, point and laugh...i.e. your married friends being locked down) become your reality. SubhanAllah.

(And I'm totally kidding, Wifey...)

Wow. Times have changed, indeed.

Anyway, I want to keep my own personal rantings short for this entry. Soon - post Ramadan - I plan on reviving this blog to bring back your daily/weekly/monthly/once a yearly drama and intrigue to your lives. But for now, I am honored to post yet another guest entry from my homie, Masood. This time, Masood gives us his take on my yearly Iftar Party, which happened to be the 5th Anniversary of it and also happened to be the longest one ever (from dusk to Bears game the next day when Awais went back home):

A view from a guest

Masood here…

Some thoughts from 2pacs Annual Iftar Party

There are a lot of things that I look forward to each year in Ramadan but none more than that of Imrans annual iftar party. Before start of every Ramadan I always check my email in anticipation of an evite about 3 weeks in advance to this auspicious gathering, and without fail every year I always get it (hopefully for many more years to come). Now, I have to admit I was a bit worried this year since Imran had recently gotten married that the annual iftar party or IP as I like to call them might be cancelled but like a true paki Imran always comes thru on his word! OY NACH!!

It seems that every year Imran and his family, well actually everyone in his family but Imran seem to always hook up amazing food, drinks and dessert and this year was probably the best ever so far, mA. He truly does have an awesome family who are always so welcoming to all the guests, we are all very grateful. Some highlights from this year..

As I stepped into Imrans house this past Saturday I was anxiously awaiting to greet Imran with a pre-emptive Do me! Sadly though Ali answered the door aka Jake Delhomme (Irfan pointed out he looks like him, good call!). No offense Ali! I was a bit tired after having drove about 200 miles from my home in the other side of Illinois, but a do me from Imran would have re-energized me much like a man getting a massage, a Chinese massage to be exact. I finally walked in and saw a long line of brothers that I was so happy to see, some new faces and mostly familiar faces of Imrans annual IP. I was immediately berated by Sami as I walked in about my rain jacket.

“What the…” he screamed out, “isn’t that the executive?” referring to an Seinfeld episode in which Jerry’s dad talked about how he came up with the trench coat. I brushed off his comments as I usually do, thinking in my head “its clear your jealous of me!”, however I also said this to him out loud to him. About 2 mins later, Sami screamed out again “hey guys, he’s wearing the executive!”. This time however I wasn’t so nice “Didn’t you just say that!?” I blasted him with. Sami then just shook his head and nodded.

The food was amazing as usual with a pre “iftari” consisting of samosas, fruit chat, rooh afzah, tahoora like sweets, and kajoors (dates). We all went into the makeshift masjid area and were waiting for someone to step up and lead the prayer, I was in the back and realized this was my chance! I screamed out “oh dude….” and made my way up front “theres an opening in the front!”, laughter ensued. Everyone thought I was going to lead but I simply wanted to grab a spot up front. After maghrib the dinner started with some paki palow (much like my mom makes), and some delicious pasta and salon. After stuffing ourselves full with food, we turned our attention to our annual madden challenges. SIM and Awais were the real show and me and Tariq agreed to battle it out as a pre-show. Tariq was the pats and I picked the cowboys, I jumped on him with an early TD but he then scored 14 unanswered points with a series of deep bombs from Brady to Moss, he went on to score another TD to take the lead 21-7, however I hit T.O on a bomb to cut the lead to 21-14, but eventuall I would lose 28-14 in convincing fashion. Next year I got you Tariq, punk! Then the real battle started with SIM vs Awais, round 2. I won’t go into details but SIM won a close game, although I think he kind of let up. I saw some half smiles and smirks from the side of SIM’s face so I am not sure if he was trying or not.

After some intense Madden games, Imran busted out his wedding video which had the fobbiest and greatest pic of him on the DVD cover posing with his head rested on his fist. I yelled out “when can I rent this in Indian stores!”. Umar set the “mood” lighting and Imran popped in the video. I was both nervous and excited to see the mendhi since I was a naching machine in it! The video started with the standard corny desi video effects and then the mendhi part finally came on. It was hilarious watching Umar and Ali in slow motion doing God knows what! It was also quite hilarious! Its clear that Imran is the best dancer in the family. Then my part came on where I was doing the shimmy shake with one of Imrans uncles much to the disgust of the audience. It was definitely the best part of the IP!! I could watch that video over and over again.

Some other highlights included

- Me, Taha, Aladdin and Imran on the swing talking about some unmentionable things
- Heena catching me and Imran in a merciless hug, and then her saying “these types of actions make it hard for me to refer girls to you”, “No!” I screamed, “..I’m a nice guy!”
- Chippas Pakistani militant look which consisted of a shalwar top, jeans, and a military jacket
- Imran’s annual taking off of the shirt, in front of his mom and wife. Slapping, camera phone pics, and berating ensued
- Imran recreating the Taha catapault launch from his knees (you had to be there)
- Me and Ali’s acknowledgment of his now famous catch phrase “whose that pretty young lady?”
- Farooqs legendary head and shoulder massages (do us!)
- Farooq, SIM, and Cognos (aka Baseer) giving me marriage financial advise outside of Imrans home (thanks guys!)

We all had a great time as usual, thanks for having us Imran! Your IP’s are now legendary and I will tell my kids about them! Mad jzk to your moms, and family as well for having us. Until next time….

Masood aka Mo aka Gina

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Alhamdullilah. MAD JZK to my man Masood for delivering another great guest entry. Mad JZK to you for the love, too. Please keep my mom, wife, and family in your duas, people. I am truly blessed to have such a family and good friends.

Until next Ramadan, folks!