Vegas

Hi

[Blogger's note: I began writing my account of a recent trip to Vegas and LA on the plane ride back home, but never posted it. At this point, it's kinda pointless to do so since I've shown the pics of it and as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words...]

It's been about a year since I've vacationed with my wife. Our last trip was a nice international trip largely due to the fact that I had to go across the pond for some work and turned it into a little recreation as well. It was a tad bit cold, but still enjoyable.

Anyway, this trip we ensured that the weather wasn't going to be an issue and so we West Coasted it by going to Vegas and LA. The Vegas part was my idea and LA was the wife's, which I'm thankful for because the trip would've been otherwise really short.

Vegas
We get to Vegas last Wednesday late afternoon to the Hilton Grand Vacations Hotel, which is right off The Strip. The hotel has two towers and it's about six years old. The tower we stayed in is the newer part at about 2 years, maybe three. We stayed in a one BR apartment style room. A room that we could've comfortably stayed a week (and believe me, we probably packed for at least a month's worth of clothes). It was really nice and very clean. Initially we stayed in a room that had a view of The Strip but it was a part of The Strip where there's sill a lot of construction. So we switched over to a view of the Red Rocks Mtn. That was much better. The room itself had a flat screen in the living room, a small dining table that could easily accommodate for three or four (= a minimum of ten by desi standards). The full kitchen had granite counter tops and ceramic tiling for the back splash. The cabinetry was a dark wood which was surprisingly filled with dishes for your use. There was also a large closet that we thought was a pantry but turned out to house a washer/dryer unit. That made us feel kinda silly that we over packed but we had no idea of course. As a side note, the wife and I tend to always overpack but this trip in particular was the worst by far. We easily had ten outfits to go by the end of the trip between the two of us! Clearly a reflection of not traveling as much as we'd like.

So getting back to the room: the bathroom was nice and adjoining to it was a closet leading to the bedroom. Directly opposite of the bedroom closet was a huge tub which we never used (except once as a wudu station). So anyway we were sold on the comforts of Hilton and living the Hilton life. (Imagine how Paris Hilton travels...)

After settling in, ordering some room service for drinks and eating my father-in-law's phenom chicken sandwich he had so kindly packed earlier that day, we assessed our what-to-do options:
1) pay $300+ per person to watch Cirque Du Soliel performance of O at the Belagio
2) pay $350 per person to go a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon.
3) walk up and down The Strip which was gonna be Heena's first experience and my second.
4) watch cheaper shows
5) pay waaay cheaper than option one to watch Ka by Cirque Du Soliel at the MGM Grand
6) engage in shady activities following the principle of "What happens in Vegas..." [Azubillah!]

We opted for options 3 & 5. Number six was tempting considering the city's nickname (kidding) and the other pricey options were, well, pricey. Though if we would achieve we-live-in-Oakbrook-and-can-afford-anything status, then we will undoubtedly follow up on the first two options inshaAllah. (FYI: helicopter tour picks you up in a limo and you have drinks in the sunset.)

[Blogger's note: Yep, that's as far as I got. Simply for the fact that I started it and had it my email for some time, I thought I'd publish what little I have.]


Cheers

Flash Forward Flahes Lost & Other Season Premieres

Hi

I thought it appropriate with today's weather to write about last week's Fall TV season premieres. Overall, I have to say that I'm quite pleased.

Flash Forward
Great start. I think most people I've talked to have taken an instant liking to this show, but one of the aspects that's really roping in people to the show are the Lost references. Consider the billboard in the background of this shot (link courtesy of Farooq). Not only this reference to Oceanic Airlines (and a comedic one if you squint your eyes to read it), but some sites out there (http://the-odi.blogspot.com/) are drawing comparisons to the numbers mentioned in Lost. Now, this obviously cannot be chalked to mere coincidence. It has to be one of the following reasons: (1) Great marketing to get Lost fans into a new show considering that this will be Lost's last season. I can imagine producers of the show sitting at their brainstorm sessions saying, "Ok, now that we've mind F'd these people into drawing parallels between the show [that may or may not exist], what can we do to keep them coming?" "I know!" chimes another producer, "Let's slowly sneak the entire cast of Lost into the show." And so enters Dominic Monaghan, the actor that plays Charlie in Lost, into the promo for the next show. And then there's Penny from Lost (actress Sonya Walger) who plays Olivia Benford. But, who knows, with the expiration of Lost, these actors may simply be well-liked to the network and are trying to capitalize on it. Alternatively, we might get into the second reason: (2) The Lost World and FF World are in fact the same "universe" and there are intentional crossover, overlapping stories. How ridiculous would that be?! Ridiculous in a possibly phenom sense, that is. That, for example, the worldwide blackout is related to the time traveling from the island or when Ben initially made the island disappear or... Well, for FF-Lost conspiracy theories, I'm sure you can find tons on the WWW. Regardless, even as a standalone product, Flash Forward is extremely interesting. The baseball footage where they showed some random person awake was eerily cool and intriguing. It makes you think of the many possibilities of what happened: a new natural phenomena? Aliens? Something that will always remain unknown? An act of God (azubillah; but I'm sure that will be a small theme)? A government conspiracy? Guess I'll have to stay tuned..

Heroes
Two-hour premieres are always good. This show started off Season 1 unbelievable. It was on its way to becoming one of my favorites shows of all time. I could probably watch Season 1's season finale 100x. Subsequent seasons, however, were lacking. I'm not sure what creator/producer Tim Kring was thinking. It was like he was taking a football team to the promised land, but inexplicably decides to bench his starters in favor of the third stringers. The last two seasons strayed away from the great ideas and themes of the first season; namely, the battle between good and evil (Peter: the embodiment of good, the reluctant hero; Hiro the eternal optimist; Sylar: the embodiment of evil). Actually, I think I still kept watching because of Sylar. He was always entertaining. Anyway, this season seems like its trying to return to what captivated us fans in the first place. Peter is back to his original job helping people out. He had a radio (reminiscent of Peter Parker in one of the Spider-Man movies) to listen to crimes and stop them -- using his Superman-esque (not quite, but you know what I mean) powers for good. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the duality of Nathan's character with him battling his inner Sylar and with Sylar getting in Parkman's head. I also like the mysterious new presumably evil character who is apparently on some mission of redemption, though you can tell he has some sort of grand plan. (What's his power btw?!) Also, for those that didn't know, the guy with the knives who moves really fast is the same guy who played Darth Maul in the fourth installment of Star Wars. Let's hope Heroes can keep the momentum. I'm not sure if I can take anymore disappointment...

Smallville
Phenom! Clark is finally trying to embrace his Kryptonian side and become who he is destined to be (that would be Superman -- i.e. a lesser version of myself). I like the costume. It's nothing fancy, but the S symbol is what's good to finally see. I also like the introduction of Zod (currently only a Major and not a General) and I'm intrigued as to why they don't have any of their powers. Seeing Zod interact with Tess will -- hopefully -- also prove to be an interesting development. Admittedly, though, I am really disappointed with how they simply killed off Doomsday from the prior season. He's the guy that kills Superman in the comics. There should have been an EPIC fight scene either last season or the start of this season. Anyway, the producers and writers can make it up to me by making Clark embrace his inner "It's a bird, It's a plane, It's Superman" by FLYING! C'mon! Ok, they did at least elude to it the premiere and successfully teased us by showing him jumping off the Statue of Liberty but then cut to another scene. Next episode with Metallo should be a good one...I hope.

Community
Hysterical pilot episode. This show had me at the trailer I saw when the character Abed (played by Chicago native Danny Pudi) replay a scene from classic Breakfast Club. I was dying. I really like the dialogue; it's witty, funny, and even charming. So while it may remind you of me, instead of solely checking me out, you should check this out, too.

Anyway, that's it for now. A few of my other regular shows haven't premiered as yet (i.e. Legend of the Seeker [a guilty pleasure], Lost, and my beloved Chuck), but I'll critique at that point.


Cheers

An Ode to Michael Jordan

Hi

Yesterday, the greatest basketball player to date and of all time was enshrined into the Basketball Hall of Fame.

It was arguably one of the greatest HOF class inductions. You had David Robinson (The Admiral), John Stockton, Coach Vivian Stringer, Jerry Sloan, and His Airness, Michael Jordan.

The speeches for the most part were interesting and like Jordan mentioned (he was of course the last to speak) in his speech, you learned a little bit about the others that you probably didn't know before. Jordan's speech, though, was clearly the best. Of course I am biased as all heck, but the night definitely belonged to him. Even Stockton joked around how his family and friends came so far more so to see Jordan than him.

Now, if you don't understand who MJ was, then you probably would think his speech wasn't as memorable or significant as it should have been. This is clearly the opinion of Adrian Wojnarowski from Yahoo! Sports. In fact, the title of his article is "Jordan's night to remember turns petty." The article had some points to it. Yes, Jordan was definitely getting back at people -- Jeff Van Gundy, Bryon Russell, etc. And, yes, he did in almost narcissistic fashion tell his kids that he wouldn't want to be them (note: if you didn't watch it, first, shame on you, but second, know that he said it laughingly). But if you think somehow that this made his speech -- his moment to shine -- somehow less than expected, or uneventful, or "petty," then you probably have no clue who MJ really is. At least to his countless fans.

You cannot blame the guy for his comments if you really want to think about it. Let's consider ALL the attention he's received to date and will likely continue to receive for years to come: For starters, and to make my job here easier, why don't you YouTube Jordan and see all the various homages he has out there? There are videos that people have on him where you can tell they took a lot of time to put together (example 1 out of thousands: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtU0ifvVPV8&channel=hoopsencyclopedia). ESPN created a phenom link on their website capturing his top 23 moments leading up to yesterday's commencement. And what about his marketing genius that came as a result of his play? I've blogged this before, but here's another one. I also noticed yesterday on Facebook that my die hard Kobe Bryant and LA Lakers fan of a cousin posted an interview with Mike Wilbon and Jordan with a caption underneath stating, "simply the greatest ever." He put the Chicago Bulls on the map...and internationally, too. I have personally experienced this during my travels to Europe. I recall one cab driver in Madrid, who didn't speak much English, say "Chicago Bulls!" with a big a smile when I told him I was from Chicago. This guy mattered that much to the NBA. To basketball.

So, tell me, how can you fault him for telling us what's on his mind? For getting back at others not simply because he can (and should in my opinion!), but also to show just how competitive he is. Even now. And it's not like Jordan was completely self-absorbed. Adrian Wojnarowski forgets to mention that Jordan mentioned his ex-wife to his kids to recognize her contributions. He talked at length about his competitive drive stemming from his brothers and sisters. About how his mom still keeps him at check despite being 46 years old.

Jordan is the greatest ever. He created a dynasty and one of the most dominant teams in sports history. He was right last night. It's the players who go out there and play. And it was Jordan who would find ways to win.

Last night was Jordan being himself...cocky & competitive to the end. I loved it!

Congratulations, Michael Jordan. We miss you!


But here's looking to seeing you in uniform at 50. Like you said, "...limits, like fears, are often just an illusion."

Bears Season '09-'10

Hi

The season fast approaches and I am so excited. A rejuvenated
Urlacher? Jay Cutler? Forte repeating (hopefully exceeding) last
year? Devin Hester proving he's a legit #1?

So many questions.

My life can finally resume with football and Da Bears back in the
picture!!!

Bear Down!

FYI: pic here is from the first ever game I attended last season.
Bears won in OT against fudge packers. One of the coldest games ever,
too! Jzk, Meraj/Taha for the hookup!

iPhone: The Hummer of Phones

Hi

This is a good article on how exactly the iPhone is the "Hummer" of phones (i.e. data guzzler). (Link courtesy of Ali.) But it also points out how it's not just an iPhone or AT&T issue, but as smartphones are used more and more, all wireless providers will have to step up their network coverage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/03/technology/companies/03att.html

I wonder what'll happen when 4G comes out here?!

What will be annoying (but good money-making for Apple or other cell phone makers/providers) is that Apple will then introduce an iPhone 4G. Then a year or so later, an iPhone 4Gs. And I'm sure they'll add on extra features like an HD camera (which I'm sure they already have). Heck, I'm sure these corporations are already thinking in some lab somewhere about 5G speed and phones that will handle them. I wish we could exploit them for all the technology they have!

I know there are pros and cons of increasingly relying on technology, but I'm strictly talking about the "Wow!" factor here. I liked to be Wow-ed, folks. I think it's a constitutional right and should be mandated in a Declaration of Technology, if you will:

We hold these truths to be self-evident that not all technological platforms were created equal, that they are endowed by Apple/Google/Microsoft/Nokia/[insert technology company] with certain phenom features, that among these are Life (App Store), Liberty (Free Apps), and the pursuit of Happiness (paying a lot for awesome technology on your credit card and worrying about the costs later).

Can I get a John Hancock at the end of this, please?! Or I guess a "Steve Jobs" instead?


Cheers

Dude from Wisconsin Speaks Urdu

Hi

This is pretty awesome:



It's good to see in this global age someone taking such an active interest in learning about another culture and absorbing it into one's life. Of course, I say this so easily when it's someone taking interest in Pakistani culture & language!

But, man, I feel like a punk for not learning Urdu as good as he has learned it. Really impressive. He should now just revert! He's obviously smart, too, since he went to UofC. Come to think of it, I remember Umar mentioned that they had classes in Urdu when he was still a student there. Clearly, he should've taken them!

Watching videos like this makes me feel proud but also a bit embarassed. For a culture and country I love so much, should I not also take the initiative to speak better Urdu? I know my Urdu is vastly superior than my brothers (don't let Umar's love of poetry fool you and if Ali says otherwise, just ask him about the flying fish story...), but regardless I still mess up on conjugating words. And it's so clear when I speak that I speak it in an Americanized way. In fact, yo creo que me espanol es mejor! Ideally, the languages I'd like to inshaAllah learn to speak, read, and write fluently are Arabic, Urdu, Punjabi, and then brush up on Spanish, too. Make dua for a brother.

Side note: At the end of the day, though, I go to sleep fine knowing that at least my Urdu isn't Hydro Urdu. We might as well call Hyderabadi Urdu Chinese for practical purposes...


Allah hafiz

2009 Iftar Party Report

As salaamu Alaikoom

Well, it's certainly been a minute since my last posting. Then again, these days my entries have started off with this statement. My scapegoat is the married life, which I enjoy, of course, but I'm just sayin that I'm able to blog this entry while my wife is out of the house.

Onwards...

This years party was perhaps the largest in size, mashaAllah, with a total of 34 people. Add a few more to that number when you factor in my family. Most were surprised -- as was I -- on the number and I particularly got a kick out of Aladdin's comment of, "Dude, when this thing started it was just me, you, and your brothers." By the way, props to my boys Sami, Aladdin, Harris (HP), Omar, and Fahad for attending every year, Alhamdullilah. I think Farooq and potentially Baseer might be in that category, too. (Apologies if I left you out.)

Oh, and I want to especially hate on the following: Mofeez, Kamran Ch, Tariq, and Imran ("The Mizz"), and Princess Hassan for confirming their attendance but never showing up! Even if you texted or called me or had a valid excuse like a new born (Tariq's case) or your father is in town (Hassan), I still reserve the right to put you guys on blast, dang it!

Next, let's talk food:
This year's menu was also done on a bigger scale as I had a team of cooks. MBN to be me! Seriously, I'm a lucky guy to have somehow been able to convince my mother, wife, sister-in-law, father-in-law, and mother-in-law to cook stuff for the event. SubhanAllah! May Allah protect all of them and give them endless joy and success always. Ameen! Because of this team that I assembled, the dessert menu in particular and the "iftari table" as well were more stacked than usual with things like pakoras, 150 samosas (aloo, keema, and cheese varieties), homemade dip (well, everything was homemade), juices, dahi baray, cholay, grasshoppers (the square mint green stuff), Oreo chocolate ice cream cake, graham cracker pudding thing, peanut butter brownies, orange creamsicle, and even a Hydro dish. All that, mashaAllah, plus the main meals of meatball/egg salan, chicken pulao (rice), rita, another salan dish, bindi (okra), daal, and spaghetti (namely for the Arabs!).

Just take a look at this picture of a bunch of the guys swooping around the table like vultures when it came to dessert. While I didn't capture it on film, this crowd later morphed from a flock of swooning vultures into a ferocious horde of lions waiting to pounce on its prey as my wife and sisters kept taking out more desserts (with the assault led by Sarosh)...


Animals, I tell you!

Okay, so we all know the food is the only reason people take time to fill out applications for the Passport to Plainfield. Now let's get into some of the highlight reels, shall we?

1) First and foremost is Thabraize's and Mumu's financial hour. T&A Accounting was apparently a major sponsor in hosting last night's Iftar party as he was given the floor in explaining how to work the system (legally, too, supposedly). I'm looking into getting a transcript to post later on because summarizing what Thabraize and Mustafa said would require at least a 10 page blog entry. This was the only point of the evening where someone unconditionally had the floor as we all sat in silence. Except for Riyality, of course, and his always hysterical quips (i.e. calling Thabraize cheap because Thabraize gets 1 mile per dollar spent on his credit card whereas The Riyality Show gets like a million miles per dollar spent or something like that...).

2) While this year's party had the most attendees, the usual number of people that stayed past midnight was notably less than in the past. MAD props to Sami and Samir for coming back from taraweeh after the taraweeh they attended ended at 1am. And also to Farooq and Quad for coming back from the city! Now that's love and dedication, man. I am still in disbelief, however, that Irfan and SIM left so early last night. Usually, they're always down to bang until the wee hours of the night. I guess they're officially on lock-down. As SIM left with his head down slowly walking back to his car, Quad was just coming back into the house and told him that "Pac is the new SIM!" (SIM didn't take that lightly and told us jokingly to "Go to hell." Fortunately, hell/shaytan is locked up this month!)

3) The last guests (Sami, Samir, and Awais) left at 3am. And in yearly time-honored fashion, I did in fact remove my shirt for the viewing pleasure of all. However, this year, I waited until the end to do so as what I'm sure Samir and Sami will regard as a royal treat. As an aside, the past two years the Iftar party went up to Fajr, but to my wife's appreciation, it didn't this year. Next year, I will chain some of the guys to the basement to make up for it...

4) I beat both Quad and Awais in Madden. Effortlessly.

5) As all of you know when you read my Evite, I always mention an option of praying taraweeh at home. Let's face it, this is more of a joke and never manifests. But this year, my BIL, HP, lead a handful of the guys in taraweeh in the basement, mashaAllah. Alhamdullilah, a phenom blessing.

So there's probably many other quotes or events of the night that took place that deserve mention on the blog, but the best part time-after-time is the brotherhood factor. As Muslims, we're blessed to have such a high regard and love for brotherhood and to me this is what I love seeing. I love sitting back at times to watch everyone have a good time. Allah has blessed me with some of the best of company, so much love to all you. May Allah protect you all, give you good health, happiness, and a long and successful life in the footsteps of the Beloved Rasool (sw). May Allah bring you all -- all of us -- closer to Him and His Prophet (sw). Allah huma sali Allah Muhammad. Ameen!

Alright, feel free to comment your own highlight reels or anything else you want to add in. MAD JZK to everyone for coming through with special shot out to my brother Umar and his wife Nida for flying in from Providence, RI mainly in honor of this tradition, mashaAllah! It wouldn't have been the same without you.

Please keep me & the family in your duas, fellas.


Until next Ramadhaan!

Fighting Corporate Supermacy: Wendell Potter Takes on CIGNA

Greetings

This is a really, really interesting video (link is at the end) that I hope receives increasingly more attention. It's a link to an interview Bill Moyers had with a former executive at CIGNA, Wendell Potter.

Potter was moved by a health care fair in his home state of Tennessee, which proved to be more than what he envisioned. He saw the poor condition of people receiving health care treatment and was in disbelief that this could happen in these United States. After mulling over what to do and facing a difficult choice, Potter was inspired to do the right thing (i.e. rat out the insurance industry) especially after reading this quote: "The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of moral crisis, maintain a neutrality."

That's an awesome line and personally reminds me about the battle between what's appealing in this duniya (in this case, money and power) and what's right (caring for those that are less fortunate and in some respects even oppressed when it comes to health care insurance!). It's also reminiscent of, O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allah is a Better Protector to both (than you). So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you may avoid justice, and if you distort your witness or refuse to give it, verily, Allah is Ever Well Acquainted with what you do [Quran; 4:135]. After all, what's right may not always be popular and what's popular may not always be what's right, right?

Consider that Potter comes from a background where for 15 years he's breathed and lived what I can only refer to as "corporate supremacy" or perhaps even "corporate survival"; basically the idea that the objectives of a corporation reign supreme to any other objective be it moral objectives or otherwise. And not only has he (and CIGNA) survived, but thrived! What else can you call a corporate man who takes private jets and is served lunch on a gold plate (again, check out the interview)? In this light, I have to get Mr. Potter his due credit for coming out and admitting just how manipulative and daunting the power the insurance industry is, which is to really say the power of money. I suppose you can say that you always "knew" that this goes on behind-the-scenes, but for a former exec to come out and confirm it and further offer additional insight into that world is another thing. Here's something else to consider; a quote from Potter from the interview:

WENDELL POTTER: The industry has always tried to make Americans think that government-run systems are the worst thing that could possibly happen to them, that if you even consider that, you're heading down on the slippery slope towards socialism. So they have used scare tactics for years and years and years, to keep that from happening. If there were a broader program like our Medicare program, it could potentially reduce the profits of these big companies. So that is their biggest concern.

What's amazing to listen to is how these corporate supremacists leverage their resources to further leverage their position in politics and life. I particularly found it interesting on how some mastermind working for an insurance company would send a memo for what buzz words or phrases to use and how that would trickle down to speeches given by senators. Opponents of public, accessible, free health care administered by the government argue that such a system places bureaucrats in between patients and doctors/physicians. Well, I'd rather have a publicly elected bureaucrat be the middle man than a corporate juggernaut who might be willing to cut my life line when it doesn't meet their bottom dollar. At least a public figure, while not necessarily any more perfect, is a lot more accountable to the people. So at least I would like to believe...

http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07102009/watch2.html



Cheers

Running

Hi

Well, I'm trying to return to my former glory days of running a lot. InshaAllah. Make dua that I'm able to. I'm the king of inconsistency when it comes to exercising [insert sarcastic commentary here like, "You? Inconsistent about exercising? Perish the thought!"], but I'm hoping that this reserve of time I have these days will help change that (again, InshaAllah!).

So today and yesterday I've averaged just over 2 miles/day. Nothing too impressive considering that it's been only two days. What's cool to point out, though, is the RunKeeper app I'm using on my iPhone. This app is phenom! Using the iPhone's GPS functionality, it keeps track of the distance you run, time, speed, and other things. You have to love technology, man. (Side note: I wonder if Umar's Nokia -- which, per Umar, does everything my iPhone can and then some using a custom app on the Nokia called "Umar's Imagination Gone Wild" -- can do this, too? Most likely, the old, outdated Nokia can probably do all that RunKeeper can on the iPhone plus run the actual course you set out to do, right, Umar?!)

Anyway, another nice feature RunKeeper has is a map view of whatever you ran (see map below). Both days the map trail it shows has been spot on. Being Pakistani, I of course didn't buy the Pro version (can I get a "Perish the thought!" on that one, please!), but I know that it has additional features like a voice prompt that will tell you something along the lines of, "At this interval, run fast for 2 minutes. And then run slow." Basically it keeps you in check by motivating you with goals. Something like that is good for training, too. Hopefully next year I'll be able to run the Soldier Field 10 again (10 mile marathon on Lake Shore Drive) and in between then and now participate in other marathons. Then one day I'll do the Chicago Marathon. That's one of my main running goals in life...

Man, back in the day (walk down memory lane for me for a sec) when I lived on campus in Lincoln Park, I used to average anywhere from 5 - 10 miles per day. Sigh. I just realized that being the true Pakistani I am, I'm now talking like an uncle reliving his youthful, active days. This is what I hope to avoid and my motivation to see this through. (But maybe it's also the result of approaching the big 30 later this year!)

Before signing off, I will say that running is a great form of exercise. There are some people who just don't get running. Honestly, I've had conversations with people who are like, "I don't get it. You just keep running. What's the point?" The problem is that these people are too focused on the idea of needing to score a point by, most common example I can think of, shooting a ball into a basket. While basketball is fun, competitive to play (and yet another sport I mashaAllah dominate in), there is nothing like getting a "runner's high." The runner's high is something I've experienced in my heyday (yes, another "uncle moment"). You simply reach a point in your running where you just can't stop. Well, you of course can, but you don't want to. At that point, you feel like you can conquer the world; that it doesn't get much better than this. Before you realize it, you suddenly have more energy to run and sometimes run faster. It usually occurs when you're well into the run, so don't expect it right away (if you're tempted to try). And, most importantly, don't try to smoke a doobie while running. Sure, technically you can argue that smoking a doobie while running would qualify as a runner's high, but c'mon...

Humor me and my attempt to sound like I'm a professional runner who's just started a blog about the joys of running...




Regards

How to Search in Google

Hi

I'm a huge Google fan. I'm one of those that believe that Google can seldom do any wrong (just the way I feel about Apple). Having established that, don't hate on me just because this blog posting is a link from Google on how to effectively use Google's search website to look up information and what you would need to type into Google to pull it up. Some of this stuff you may already know in your Google searching experiences, but others perhaps not.

So enjoy as I have. Seriously, it made my day this morning:
http://www.google.com/landing/searchtips/


Cheers!

Engage Cloak!

Hi

Well, it looks like cloaking technology is only years away...

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2007/10/metamateria

Can someone please tell Farooq to hurry this technology up! I want to cloak my Toyota Corolla ASAP! But think of the practical uses of cloaking technology:

1. Hide from my wife when she wants to go watch a chick flick
2. Hide from my wife when she wants me to do something around the house
   
3. Hide from my wife when she wants to go shopping
   

So, umm, yeah, I'd basically use it to hide from my wife, but I'm sure there are other practical uses of cloaking technology, I just can't think of what they would be other than hiding from one's wife...


Engage!

Bhangra Leads To A Better Life...

Hi

This link is courtesy of my wife. Why was she looking for something like this on YouTube is beyond me, but I'll tell you what: It sure as heck put tears to my eyes knowing that her inner Punjabi (which we all have, btw) is coming out of her shell.

So now join the phenomena. Become one step closer to realizing your Punjabiness. And for those that have been struggling to do this, now you can do it by following this exercise:



One thing I should clarify is that while this exercise is trying to sell it as a "work out video" in reality it's more of a spiritual exercise that aims at tapping your inner Punjabi. Alhamdullilah, for me and my family, we were honored with the high rank and blessing of already being Punjabi. We come out of the womb with our shoulders and legs hopping about. And it doesn't stop...

As a professional in the clinical research/pharmaceutical industry (which by default makes my opinion on par with a physician), it's my personal and professional opinion that bhangra-ing adds on at least 10 years to your life. Even if you're a fat-looking-uncle type on the cusp of a coronary, dancing Punjabi style will cure your condition. Or if you're an aunty-living-in-Oakbrook type on the cusp of realizing that you can no longer dress like it's your shadi on a daily basis therefore going into severe clinical depression, dancing Punjabi style will cure your condition by making you happy. So the true ramifications of releasing your inner Punjabi are limitless as it provides spiritual and physical benefits...

Now stop reading this entry and get up and NACH, PUTHR!!!



Chak De!

Classic NFAK

Salaam

Here's a classic NFAK (Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan) qawwal. Link courtesy of Mr. Alikhan.




Salaam!

Sausage Fest '08

Hi

This is an old, old post that's looong overdue. A guest entry by my man Zubair following a night where a friend - Faisal - invited us to eat a lot of zabiha food mashaAllah at the cost of him basically wanting to announce a major corporate takeover of him overthrowing his father-in-law's (FIL) meat business. MBN to use one's FIL, Faisal! But, seriously, it was a great event with AMAZING food (ribs, dogs - not actual kuthas so don't be excited Chaptu Farooq, burgers, etc.). May Allah reward the Raja/Khan family. Aameen.

And now to Zoobs guest blog entry:

Location: Underground Sausage Party…literally

Time: Post Isha/Pre-Tahajjud or for party-goers, post sushi dinner and pre-cover entry @ club

There was an invite that was blazing around amongst the Muslim elites (Computer Programmers, DBA’s, Data warehouse Experts, Systems Analysts, Sheesha Lounge Owners, TJ Maxx Board of Governors, and one IT auditor).

Imran and his brother Ali picked me up late at night and as I walked out my Parents mansion of a house, I noticed a one-headlight Corolla coming my way. Must be a meyman (Hindu turned Muslim-gujurati folks) way of conserving energy and saving battery power all the while helping the environment and lessening the carbon footprint. ASKB. (Allah SWAT knows Best).

Throughout the trip, I was amused by Ali’s constant use of his iPhone. It reminded me of his counter part – Mr. Blackberry himself, Farooq. More on him later INSH. Ali kept on talking to me about the fact that he lived in Madison and did not really hang out with Muslims. That is completely fine, it was expected considering he was Imran's brother. Mash, they are very upfront about being progressive. Mash I asked Ali, "So! When is your turn to get married" to which immediately Imran said, "Oh, did we just pass IE (Italian Express)?" Maybe that was his way of diverting my question through the window since he seems overly protective of his brother. Is he hiding something? I feel like he is…Ali does come a little bit shady…is he part of Mossad? Only time will tell. Let us carry on to the scene that $@#$ just explodes X’s 100. Enter….Underground Sausage Party:

As we pulled into the warehouse sector, we started spotting various groups of Al q like characters. Some of the signs of Al q types are: scruffy beard, wannabe urban attire and rugged for instant war-play practice, constant ramble about random NFL players all while saying repeatedly MASH Bears or INSH Falcons. Either way, I was surprised I did not see sheesha and hookah setup right outside the warehouse considering that if there are more than one Muslim in a group setting, the first thing to appear is a sheesha setup. I actually in fact asked Imran if there is a sheesha around considering he has the constant feeds from Google server (Farooq)….alas, no knowledge of such activity.

We passed by several 300 like Spartan looking facial hair monsters….some had their beards completely trimmed and lined up as if there was a contest setup from sharper image. One of the Spartan like personality was infact posing to look like Salahaddin himself from the movie Kingdom of Heaven. Mash, he now works at Allstate considering the war against the crusaders is over.

Some of the images from the event that need to be exposed for everyone to witness:

Final Words:

The sausage festival was in fact the most awesome time ever for a quick reunion with the shadiest people in the western suburbs of Chicago.

---

Later

Roq without BB?!

Hi

Not to potentially confuse "BB" with biwi, which also happens to be the case for now, in this startling and rare photo we see our beloved friend Farooq without his Blackberry (BB) and therefore hopelessly confused and perhaps even frightened.

So much so is his confusion and desperation that he's right now in this picture literally convincing himself that in true MacGuyver fashion he can make his hat into a BB. While I don't doubt Farooq's Data-like (Star Trek ref) technical aptitude to do this, I can't help but to feel sorry for his state. After all, try as he may to deny, he is my good friend...

Btw, if you know Farooq as I do and were concerned about his physical and mental well being with him not having his BB, please rest assured that Zubair was on the premise of this photo's location. He may have even temporarily forgotten his beloved BB. Oh plus as you can see Sayeed was there so he had to be on good behavior!






Cheerio!

Obama is Funny

Hi

I know, I know. Been a while since I posted, but this is pretty good and I'm sure you'll appreciate the humor Obama lays down.

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Cheers!

Nanga, Nanga Shame, Shame!

Greetings

It’s finally getting warmer out here, folks [note: as of last week when I began writing this post; right now it’s kinda cold…again!]. We’ve had consecutive days where the weather has been above 50 degrees and a couple times we reached the 70 degree mark. We all know that during this time of the year the city comes to life. The sun shines pleasantly – on most days – on the people of the Chicago land area. And it’s actually still bright outside when you leave work. In some extremes cases, the phenom weather actually makes people want to come home earlier.

And so on the note of speaking on extremes, I thought I would point out that the gradual rise in temperature brings about other phenomena; namely, the almost sudden rise in women’s clothing and, in harmonious symphony, a rise in the eyebrows of many men…

…many men, to clarify, who aren’t happily married like me, mashaAllah.

While some may take joy in this time “honored” tradition, others may question it specifically asking, “WTF is up with that?”

Well, I’ll tell you what’s up with that:

It has been the observation of this humble blog writer and revered scientist that as soon as we reach 50 degrees, the gora people of this beautiful land instantaneously change into half naked people who have been wanting to free their bodies (clearly not their minds!); as though they have been harnessed in restraints for an entire winter against some sort of unspoken code on human ethics that is lost on “traditionalists” but ever present in Western ideology. Oh, by the way, when you read “restraints” I hope you read it as I intended here: clothing.

In order for me to better grasp this, I took the liberty of analyzing gora people and am now posting my scientific findings here in what many consider to be the most heralded online scientific journal ever – my blog. Undoubtedly, based on these findings you will draw the same conclusions I have: Gora people posses a genetic disposition to not want to wear clothes. My empirical data speaks for itself.

Consider Exhibit A (John Doe) [note to reader: there is no Exhibit B, C, D, etc. Just Exhibit A because it was pretty dang convincing]:

On a brisk Saturday morning in early March, the weather is 40 degrees and John Doe sits at home comfortably wearing his Abercrombie & Fitch fall attire while eating a bowl of Cheerios with fresh cut strawberries. He is completely aloof to the weather and why shouldn’t he be? 40 degrees isn’t bad for a Chicagoan, but John has the right idea; stay at home and relax.

As John finishes up his morning cup of Starbucks he brews every morning (roasted blend – whatever that means), the weather slowly begins to rise. By midafternoon we’ve reached 50 degrees and soon find John Doe in plaid shorts with a white belt that came with the shorts and a lilac colored Ralph Lauren polo. (Yep, Exhibit A is based in Naperville.)

Ok, wait, so you’re probably thinking: Hey, Mr. man.myth.legened.sufi.lover.fighter.punjabi, how does this prove that gora people are genetically altered to not to want to wear clothes? After all, this could be speaking about any desi person outside of Bolingbook.

How astute you are, I would respond. But, let’s look at this closer.

What I purposely left out are the in-between steps from wearing clothing (WC) to lesser clothing (LC). So, in math terms, that’s LC = (WC + x) where x = good weather. In programming terms, that’s:

IF WC = Wearing Clothing and LC = Lesser Clothing
THEN LC = WC
IF weather_variable returns an integer value of 50 or more
ELSE LC != WC; return error

Math and geek-talk aside, what I also left out is the struggle for the gora person during that evolutionary process between WC and LC. For our younger audience, you may not want to continue reading…

While the weather slowly increased that day, so did John Doe’s awareness that the sun was getting stronger, which interestingly lends itself to an explanation on why so many gora folks love Superman. But I digress. After drinking his coffee, John’s senses were at their best:

At 10:49am, it’s 45 degrees. John cracks open a window and reduces his home's heat. Hmm, he thinks to himself. Seems like it’s getting warmer. John doesn’t bother to check the weather online, on his phone, or TV because he doesn’t need to because being a Chicagoan, John doesn’t let this get the best of him knowing full well that The Windy City’s weather changes on the fly.

At Noon, it’s 48 degrees. Wow, John murmurs in muffled excitement. It’s really heating up. John opens two more windows and turns off his heating.

At 1:03pm, it’s 49 degrees. This is dangerous. John is confused. It’s 49 degrees. One degree away from nanga-ness (i.e. 50 degree threshold). One degree away from freedom, but John is held back almost inexplicably. Oh My God, John remarks. I’m totally being teased right now. He lets out a chuckle, but a nervous chuckle more so for his own benefit to calm his nerves. It’s ok. It will come.

At 1:17pm, it’s 49.3 degrees. John begins pacing around. He yells, I KNOW IT’S GONE UP! I KNOW IT IS COMING! I couldn’t help to notice a few beads of sweat above his brow at this point.

At 1:32pm, it’s 49.8 degrees. Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! (Yes, he actually says that aloud; keep in mind he is gora, people.) John is hysterical. He’s frantically running all over his house. As a world renowned scientist, even I thought this interaction by Exhibit A was amazing to witness. You could feel a Hulk-like event was inevitable. No, maybe even like a Spiderman-Venom-like event. Except this time Venom is his Abercrombie & Fitch fall attire. He keeps trying to peel it off of his body, but the clothes are not being removed. Holy crap! No, that wasn’t John, but me. I was shocked because I had just discovered that Abercrombie & Fitch is in fact a part of gora people’s skin and not their clothing wardrobe! This was becoming gruesome…

John was going Nancy Kerrigan. WHY ME?! He couldn’t take it.

1:38pm. 49.92 degrees. Impulsively, John opens his garage door without the need to drive anywhere (signaling to others that he’s at home and ready to enjoy the weather and hopes they are, too). Despite it being so close, John is unable to tear himself away from his clothing. At this point, John didn’t need more yellow sun like Superman, he didn’t need to get angrier like Hulk, nor did he need to outsmart Venom like Spiderman. What John needed, as I came to learn in my research of watching John over-and-over again, was Starbucks and this time his home blend Starbucks would not do the trick. He needed to go to a Starbucks cafe.

And so instinctively, John darts to a local Starbucks, which, translated into Naperville-speak, is: “And so instinctively, John darts two blocks down his street to pure local bliss.” All the while John is tugging and pulling at his own body trying to remove the Abercrombie & Fitch skin graft screaming, DUDE! YOU’VE HAD YOUR TIME! LEAVE ME ALONE! I CAN’T TAKE THIS! HOLY COW!! GOLLY GEE!! AW SHUCKS!! DO I WEAR CLOTHES OR DO I NOT? I WISH MY NAME WAS LEGALLY "SKIPPY!" IT’S SO CLOSE TO BUTT-NAKED WEATHER! The gora-ness was oozing. Now I can’t convincingly prove my next point as convincingly as I have made my previous points, but it was becoming difficult at this point to decipher between John’s sweat and his tears of agony.

Within minutes, this local Starbucks was home to a sea of gora people: men, women, and children alike along with their dogs going through the same pain as John Doe. It was frightening, but in the name of science I sat back and observed. Waiting for that moment to come.

1:47pm...

50 degrees...

Before my own eyes, John Doe transforms Optimus Prime-style (i.e. "Transform and Gora Out!") into the plaid shorts and polo shirt wearing gora person we know and don't necessarily love with a “chipper” attitude sipping on a grande caramel macchiato…iced grande caramel macchiato, that is. Because we reached the the 50 degree threshold, it was like a summer time heat wave was upon us. Even if it were 49.9999 degrees, John would have had that macchiato warm. Mark my words.

Enthralling, huh?

Well, this concludes my in depth exploratory analysis of the Gora 50 Degree Threshold Factor (official article title in the next New England Journal of Medicine issue and JAMA magazine). Many of you may be calling into mind someone you know (or maybe yourself?) who is like John Doe and can relate all too well. For me, this was insightful and fascinating. But fortunately I didn’t have to travel far for my research. All I had to do was call up my homie T and observe. T is the true gora king (GK).

Look (now I have to get serious), I understand that when the weather is nice you may not want to wear heaving clothing, but why reveal yourself entirely? How does that solicit respect when you – male or female – are objectifying your worth and undermining your value? Just something to consider. Don’t go crazy at the site (or feeling) of warm weather. Enjoy it, but don’t distract others or yourself.

And if you work downtown, you know especially what I’m talking about! Women come to work seeming that they’ve forgotten to put on the rest of their clothes. Men gawk and wear less, too, but as a dude, I don’t really notice that.

Oh shoot. I might get in trouble for writing that. I mean, it’s not to say that I’m noticing women downtown. I’m just saying that it’s hard not to, ya know?

Hmm. That probably didn’t help my cause either...

In conclusion, we should all wear modest clothing and save our exposed parts for those who can see it (i.e. one’s spouse or in my case, my friends during my yearly Iftar Party).


Stay true

CSU: The Omen

Hi

I'm seriously debating to author a book about Chicago State along the same lines of Jeff Foxworthy's classic comedy routine, "You might be a redneck, if...," except my book would be called, "You Know You Attend CSU When..."

I'm in no way trying to insult CSU. After all, an education is an education no matter where you go (Alhamdullilah). It’s just a matter of what level of education you get. Or perhaps the type of people you meet along the way.

I suppose I'm inspired to write about this after what happened at class a couple Fridays ago…

We had a test on the first few chapters of my American Foreign Policy Friday night class. I arrived late that evening (first time ever, of course) to find that the professor was nowhere to be seen. No, don't get any ideas that just because CSU is located in the deep south side of the city that the professor was out getting high, simply forgot out of disinterest because of a lack of pay (which I may not necessarily fault someone), or was out getting crunked on a Friday night either (which I may not necessarily fault someone…kidding). Instead, my professor was in her office giving us some time to review for the pending test that night. That part is pretty cool because, hey, it can only help.

What happened while my professor was out was the reason for today’s entry: When I walked in, one student politely tells me, "The teacher is giving us time to study for the test.” I nodded my head and sat down quietly. “…But what she doesn't know is that we're protesting the test because we don't think it’s fair that she was gone last week [FYI: the previous week, class was cancelled because she was sick] and is now making us take a test that we're not prepared for!" Other students nodded while some applauded and even more cheered in agreement. I smiled and opened my book to review in case the coup’d’état failed (yes, you could say that I had an Umar-like moment. Though really if I was Umar and this is what other student told me, I would’ve probably tattle tailed on the students, cried that they were trying to avoid a test, and sit down to only be comforted by reading the chapters backwards and forwards while caressing each page with a tender love like a mother suckling her baby).

So my classmates seemed quite adamant about the not-taking-the-exam-tonight campaign with one girl particularly furious. In a high-pitched whiny voice she exclaimed, “Do you think it’s fair that she was out last week and is now giving us a test when we didn’t get to review anything last week?!” I actually wasn’t thinking along the lines since the exam date was clearly detailed in the syllabus, but the way she said it made me feel bad; like I should’ve felt outraged, too. Then again, this is also a student who says everything emotionally. The professor can ask her a question from the course text book saying, “What is the funnel of causality?” and she would reply back in an irate voice, “Well, the funnel of causality just doesn’t make sense to me!! I mean, it’s just not right! I read it, but I don’t agree with it. Like what are they trying to say? I mean, George Bush is an idiot!” Ok, I threw in the Bush comment because during any class discussion, it seems like everyone is compelled to tie in whatever point they are making to criticize Bush even if it’s not relevant, but, yeah, you get the point on this girl. (Hmm, maybe we should all try adding "George Bush is an idiot" to the end of everything we say just so we never forget?)

Irate Chick’s vociferation prompted others to echo her thoughts. Some agreed as a pretense because even though you know they were prepared, they definitely were not going to disagree. During the midst of these discussions, the class clown (who is truly a funny guy who takes joy in patronizing the professor) interrupts the flow of the discussion and calmly tells an older woman in the class, “Hey there’s a rat right there” as if he was telling her the time. A couple people laughed and he said, “No, seriously, there is. Look…”

Lo and behold, the class clown was right! Well, not entirely. The animal in question was a small mouse walking his way through the room. And so naturally immediate pandemonium broke out…

The older woman froze up wearing a look on her face as though she had just seen a grisly murder and began screaming at the top of her lungs. Other students started laughing (the ones who were furthest away) while others darted to the opposite side of the room. The class was in an uproar with yelling and laughing. Nearby classrooms closed their doors with other students peeking in as well as another professor. We closed the door after knowing that the mouse went back into a hole at the base of the wall (comforting, I suppose?) One student in typical thug-like fashion asks me laughingly, “Did you see that $#*! ?!” I nodded my head as I stayed silent convinced I was on the set of a comedy sitcom; a watchful observer I remained focused on our class’ unique culture and spirit.

Actually, speaking of spirit, in light of the spirit of students not wanting to take the test, a handful of the students got up, put on their coats, and left with one of them saying, “It’s an omen! I’m leaving!” I think that particular comment got another student to feel as though it truly was an omen for not taking the test and so she got up shortly thereafter and left, too.

In the back of my mind I kept thinking, what if this went down at another institution like DePaul? Is it actually conceivable? I just can’t imagine it would be. Then I realized that at DePaul – and most other academic institutions, I hope – they would never have a rat/mouse situation on their posh campus. Then again, maybe this is a state school thing as I now recall seeing a cockroach the size of the small mouse at CSU at UIC's medical school building when I worked there as a research assistant?

In the end, when the professor finally came back, the students made their passionate pleas for delaying the exam, but the professor did not cave in (which was surprising giving her personality). She assured us that we would know the material well and there was nothing to worry about. As for the students that left thinking that it was divine intervention (or manifest destiny in political science terms) to not take the exam, well, it wasn’t so. They came back knowing better though complaining throughout the exam.

In conclusion, to get back to my Jeff Foxworthy comment: You know you attend CSU when…

• When your classmates scheme of ways to get out of a test when the professor steps out
• When your zany professor never fails to layer her lips with an ultra shiny red lipstick… in the middle of class while lecturing. (I can't make this up, people.)
• When seeing a mouse in the middle of a classroom doesn’t draw any concern from students on how maintenance/cleanliness is kept, but instead how it provides a sign to get out of class

Look for this list to expand in the future as my adventures continue at CSU.

And remember, George Bush is an idiot.

Cheers