Pedro's Conversion

Salaam

After Jummah today in Danbury, a Dominican male named Pedro made the best decision of his life,Alhamdullilah, by accepting the deen.

During the shahada, I could not help but to be in awe of the focus and humbleness in Pedro's face.  In fact, not just his face, but his entire body. As he recited -- very well -- the shahada in Arabic, taking cues from Shaykh Usman (Imam of the Danbury Masjid), his entire body was in submission to Allah.  Whether he consciously knew it or not, his head was lowered in acknowledgement, of both the seriousness of this new commitment as well as the honor of what his new commitment has blessed him with.  His body and the surrounding environment were all in prostration of the baraqa-filled moment.

Soon after the shahada was complete, Shaykh Usman began reciting a dua both in Arabic and English.  Brother Pedro was in tears; it was a touching moment and one that made you appreciate and reflect upon your own relationship with Allah.

After the dua came the ceremonious hugs.  I gave him a hug and congratulated him like everyone else; however, being loosely aware of the plight of new Muslims not having a significant support network, I told him that if he needs anything at all, let me know.  After praying our sunnahs, I went up to him again and asked him to take down my number and we started talking about how he converted.

My impression of him is that he's a welcoming, conversational type of guy who enjoys joking around.  Now onto his conversion story:

Before Pedro started reading anything about Islam, he happened to have a big beard. People would actually come up to him and ask him if he was Muslim, and he'd say that he wasn't and that his beard was long just because he was lazy.  Those questions and that lazy long beard, however, were perhaps the seeds that planted his acceptance.

One day, he was across the street from a masjid at a printing store with a friend who worked as a journalist.  Pedro happens to see the masjid across the street and decides to run in and ask about how he could learn more.  Someone gave him a copy of the Quran.

Soon thereafter, he started reading the Quran and, as is the miracle of the Quran, the words began to penetrate his heart.  Pedro asked me if I saw the movie Kingdom of Heaven (I did) and if I remembered the guy who played Salahuddin (yes).  He said he started to see someone who looked very much like that person in his dreams quite regularly.  He joked it off saying something along the lines of, "I'm not trying to say I'm some sort of visionary and if they ever wrote a book on me, should I hopefully be worthy and good enough of that, I could see how this could be blown out of proportion because people always like to hear a good story."

Nonetheless, that's how he converted, ma sha Allah.  These small things had propelled him towards Islam and the message was received and, ma sha Allah, accepted.  He had one more joke to offer me: "I became Muslim because I was lazy" referencing back to how he randomly had a long beard.  To offer a little more depth than that, he did remark about how it's amazing that the mundane, small things can really make you reflect, but how to people who don't buy into that, they just look at you with confusion.

Subhan Allah.  While on the surface, it sounds like a simple, kind of funny conversion of how someone came to the deen, but it's really quite profound.  Allah guided him before he even realized it and he,ma sha Allah, noticed these things to be able to do something about it.

I assure you, I'm not trying to indulge in bearing witness to Pedro bearing witness.  After talking to Pedro after Jummah, he probably would say himself, "Hey, don't over hype my story here, brother."  But this is what I really felt during the conversion.  Subhan Allah.  I actually felt reinvigorated in my own convictions and heart that, yes, our deen, our faith, is in fact truth itself manifested in every facet of creation.  We are at one with the universe when we submit ourselves to Allah and this was a reminder of that.

These are signs for those who reflect...

cheers

My Letter to Congressman Walsh: One Nation, Under God

Hi

Recently, Congressman Joe Walsh, representing the 8th District of Illinois, said some inflammatory things about Muslims.  While he defends his statements by saying, "We cannot let political correctness blind us to reality," he has failed to realize what his comments have done in "true" reality.

A good friend of mine recommended that instead of just complaining about it, that we take the time to write to the Congressman so that he hears our opinion.  According to that excellent recommendation, I have done so.

Here's my letter:

Dear Congressman Walsh,

As you're aware, you managed to upset many Americans with your recent comments.  While you acknowledged that most Muslims are peaceful, most people -- especially non-Muslims -- are not going to hear that.  What they will hear are your comments about immediate threats to our security and automatically equate that to Islam and its followers - Muslims.

This is unacceptable and unfair.  It also speaks to a clear lack of leadership on your part in representing Americans.

The problem is that you have radicals from every religion.  Unfortunately, there are those few people who misinterpret religious teachings and leverage that religion for their own personal gain.  This is an issue that impacts ALL people, not just Muslims.  So the right thing would have been to speak about radicals in general and not have people subconsciously associate "radical" with "Islam."  What you have done is a great disservice to our Beautiful Nation by encouraging paranoia, mistrust, and prejudice.

I really wish you would have responded by saying that Muslims are not radicals.  That people of any religion unfortunately fall into traps and become misguided and therefore do unthinkable things.  Unthinkable things like killing people in a movie theater, or killing innocent American Sikhs, or gangs taking innocent lives – a prevalent problem in my home state of Illinois and specifically in the Chicago area.  These people are the real radicals.  We live in chaotic and confusing times where misguided individuals or groups take action into their own hands.  In times like these, we Americans rely upon our leaders to provide us hope.  To open dialogue across communities.  To provide good education to all citizens.  To provide us safe streets. To remind us that Americans of all faiths share a basic human connection with one another.

I would ask that why have you not actively engaged yourself in Muslim communities so that you can get a better understanding about us?  Why not visit local Muslim leaders to see and "live" what Islam really is; the beauty of its brotherhood that appeals to people beyond race, color, or nationalities.  And why does Islam have such an appeal?  It's because the teachings in Islam provide a foundation to where its true follower is a caring individual who struggles to improve upon oneself whilst serving the community in an effort to please God.  It's why Muslims are perfect examples of being Americans.  We are one nation, under God.

But you, Sir, have simply added to the ocean of mistrust and fear instead of providing -- as a leader -- our communities strength.  If you worked in any Corporate America setting, your comments would have been inappropriate.  You would have been fired or, if not, enrolled into a class teaching the importance on diversity and becoming aware of the unconscious bias you have now added to.

May God Bless America.

Regards,

Imran Shakur

A Proud American Muslim

Cheers

If Liam Turned Muslim…

Hi

The entire Muslim ummah went ablaze yesterday as a story broke out about Liam Neeson’s interest and consideration of converting (reverting) to Islam.  I received several emails throughout the day from friends and family about Liam, with many adding in an “insha Allah” to their message.  Facebook postings went off like fireworks as we Muslims became smitten with the idea of a Hollywood celebrity embracing our beautiful deen.  When I came home from work yesterday, I asked my wife, “Did you hear about…” and was interrupted because she assumed I was referring to Liam, and she was correct.  Looks like her Facebook newsfeeds were filled with the story, too.  I didn't even bother checking twitterverse, as I’m sure a similar reaction followed.  When really thinking about it, I suppose on one hand I find it funny that our community is so taken with this idea because who, in the grand scheme of things, is Liam?  But on the other hand, I don’t blame them...

In fact, I have to admit that Liam’s curiosity in Islam does make for an interesting possibility especially considering his alleged strong Catholic rearing.  What I find fascinating, though, is that he came about this consideration for conversion by spending time in Turkey surrounded by beautiful masjids and listening to the azaan five times a day.  And why that particularly makes it fascinating for me is what it reminds me of:  teachings from our parents and scholars on the importance of surrounding yourself with good company. It reminds me specifically of when my mom would endlessly request me throughout my academic career to surround myself with friends who were like my brother, Umar, which, put more accurately, is to say that she wanted me to surround myself by nerds.  Umar himself was always a nerd regardless of his peers; so much so that he could probably mandate a manifesto on how to embrace being one.  A manifesto that iconic nerds like Bill Gates or Lewis Sklonik would admire.  As a result of his nerdiness, he naturally inclined towards his own nerd ilk (strength in numbers, I suppose), creating a lifetime of close friends who shared his same taste for extreme studying and other pocket protecting adventures.  Indeed, he exemplifies the culture of nerds to this day.  And with the supplementary nerdiness of his wife, he can never actually leave the confines of Nerdia even if he tried.

Ok, so back to my point…

I am also reminded of what scholars in Islam have recommended: to surround yourself with learned, pious people, which will in turn, at one point or another, insha Allah, penetrate your heart and open it to the splendor of contentment and peace that those pious mumins experience by way of desiring to please our Creator and follow in the blessed footsteps of The Rasool (sw).  Much like the idea of dhikr, the constant remembrance of Allah that creates a noor inside and outside of the body and soul, the blessings that the righteous people are gifted with eventually come your way, too.  It’s literally a shower of blessings: if someone stands in the rain and you stand next to that person, the raindrops will inevitably bounce off that person and hit you or, if you’re fortunate, some of it may just fall on you directly.  Similarly, the environment Liam was immersed in and observed, based on the articles I’ve read, had a similar effect.  Liam was quoted to say that he was initially annoyed by the azaan, but eventually by hearing it often and then taking in his environment, his eyes opened to the wonders and happiness that Islam provides.  Subhan Allah.  I find it to be beautifully awesome and a lesson to remember...

But, for now, let’s jump ahead of ourselves and assume that Liam does (insha Allah) become Brother Liam (Liaquat) Neeson (Nisa).  How exactly would he impact our community?  The answer is of course subjective to whom you ask, so let’s break it down according to the following madhabs, if you will:

The Qui-Gon Jinn Madhab:

Br Liaquat will inevitably embrace the path of tasawwuf / purification / Sufism and become a Jedi-Sufi Master.  Jedi Knights, his students who have taken bayyah with him, will come far and wide to seek his counsel and ask for his help via duas.  In his early years, Liaquat will be initially taken by his power and abuse it, but for the good of all.  He will wave his hand across a congregration at Jummah and say, “You will all donate $100 to the masjid,” which will be met with the entire group all responding in unison, “I will donate $100 to the masjid.”  Eventually, he will realize that he was being tested with this power and will immediately stop and engage in deep dhikr.

The Taken Madhab:

Look out, brothers and sisters.  It’s the white brother turned hardcore and potentially Wahhabi.  Despite this, no one has ever been a more effective and serious fundraiser than Br. Liaquat.  His "motivating" talk is simple and to the point.  And if you do not donate money to the masjid, he will leverage his past skills and remind you that it’s important to donate:

I don’t know who you all are and how much money you have.  You should all donate and keep in mind that what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills that I have acquired over a very long career of fundraising. Skills that make me a nightmare for people who don’t donate. If you donate now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you.  I will not pursue you.  But if you don’t, I will look for you.  I will find you. And I will kill you.

Extreme?  Sure.  Effective?  Oh, absolutely.  I mean, you would be amazed at how quickly people’s hearts change and how the masjids that Br. Liaquat Nisa gives these heart-felt lectures at never have money management issues again.  (Except for maybe having too much?)

Well, I guess one can dream.  Now, ultimately, the decision for him to fully embrace Islam and take the shahada comes only from Allah’s Will, but if we should take anything away from this, perhaps it is the reminder that surrounding yourself in good company and a positive environment can only help.  We should endeavor to take it upon ourselves to strive for such opportunities by going to the masjid more and increasing the time you spend with pious brothers/sisters, scholars, nerds, etc.

May Allah's Rahma be with you.

cheers

HP's Visit (This is What a Recap Should Be)

Salaam

Some friends had suggested that I write a recap on HP's recent visit to Do-Me-Bury.  As a resolution to blog more, I'm using this as an opportunity to post something here for the world to enjoy en masse.  The same group of friends also requested HP to write his recap of the weekend.  I've included it at the end.


And now the recap...

HP came in late Thursday night after hitting up Fatima's Halal Chinese.  He arrived at the chateau around 11pm and his kids were wired.  Uh oh, I thought to myself. They'll wake up Suhaylah.  Frick.  As the kids (I include HP and his wife in this category) began to unwind, so did the peace and quiet in my home.  I checked our video monitor hoping that somehow S-Pie was sleeping through the noise, but, as anticipated, I saw her eyes wide open.  Her eyes glared into the camera as if she were saying, "I know you guys are up. I also know there are people in my house.  I want in."  I quickly had the wife go into our bedroom to relax her and get her to sleep, but it wasn't working even after I locked up -- lovingly -- all my in-laws into the other bedroom.  Frick x2.

"Just wake her up," HP said nonchalantly.

Wake her up?  Oh, I guess a toddler doesn't need sleep and can party into the night like a college student.  Cool.  Fortunately, I kept those thoughts in my head, though I continued to surmise that HP made that suggestion fully realizing that it wasn't going to be him that would have to deal with S-Pie struggling to go back to sleep.  Oh, MBN being here for five minutes and dictating what my daughter can or cannot do. This is going to be a great weekend where all our parenting rules will be thrown out the door.  Hooray.

Being a good sister, the wife complied with HP's request.  At first, S-Pie was shocked to see her mamu in person versus the usual FaceTime medium.  Then she got super excited seeing her cousins -- especially Lil Z, who she finds to be totally entertaining.  Before I know it, the apartment is a mad house of kids yelling, playing, and crying.  S-Pie didn't seem to mind Lil Z's antics, but if Yusra tried to do anything like play with her toys, there was drama.  At one point, Urooj waved her finger towards Yusra saying, "No," but it proved ineffective as Yusra started to quickly copy her mother and then proceed to go around to everyone doing the same thing.  Ha, gotta love kids and the things they do.  Except, perhaps, all the yelling.  To be honest, I'm not too pleasant to deal with when I'm faced with unsolicited commotion, but I guess this is what I have to prepare for now, so I went with it.

Oh, I almost forgot something:  I should note that when HP first entered the crib, it took  what seemed several hours for him to enter beyond the foyer area.  You see, HP was pissed off since the East Coast welcomed him, under my direct orders, with a speeding ticket.  He stood in our small foyer with his coat and shoes staring and analyzing the ticket.  I started to think of two possible scenarios that would shortly ensue:

1. HP demanded that I pay for the ticket
2. HP was going to pull a Liam and track down the officer who gave him the ticket and "Memon" his way out of it

To my surprise, HP did none of that, but he did unleash all the kids in the house as a means of releasing that stress just to mess with me, which probably gives all brother-in-laws some level of happiness...

So the next day was THE DAY.  Yep, Alhamdullilah, the day my son was born, ma sha Allah x100000000.  The day that my family upgraded to Family v2.0.


And since I was in this hospital this day, I saw very little of HP.  The only interaction I had with him was early in the morning around Fajr prayer.  He was sleeping on the floor in the living room and so I took it upon myself to lay beside him, making myself comfortable.  Very comfortable.  Here, too, I began to think of two possible scenarios that would shortly ensue:

1. HP would jump out of his blanket yelling AstaghferAllah!
2. HP would knee me in the balls for what was now my unsolicited commotion for him

Again, HP surprised me and instead he lovingly wrapped his arm around me.  It seemed so natural on his part, too.  I was elated.  Years of wooing men with the inexplicable and inevitable removal of my shirt and yelling of "DM!" had finally nestled into HP's psyche.  I started to wonder, as I laid there with his hairy arm around me, if my impact was felt across the nation with my other friends.  Would RGs soon welcome me the same way HP did?  Would...

B A M ! 

My deep, intimate thoughts were suddenly slammed as soon as HP spoke and I got a whiff of his morning breath.  What a buzz kill.  Anyway, that's all I had of HP on Friday.


The next day was pretty much the same thing.  He came by to see his nephew, but he had to cut his trip short because, unfortunately, his daughter threw up on the way to the hospital and wasn't feeling well (Alhamdullilah, she's better now, but the poor girl also threw up on the way back to the apartment).  But even while being at the hospital for a short time, HP brought it upon himself to dictate the parenting of my child by forcing us to allow S-Pie to eat chocolate chip cookies while strategically playing the "Hey, I'm the mamu and can spoil my niece" card.  Oh ok. Guess that means whatever you say, goes.  All Praise is due to Allah.

HP's last day in Do-Me-Bury was Sunday and I think he tried to make amends by coming to the hospital with a box of DD donuts and coffee.  It was another short visit as HP had a flight to get to that day to return to his town of Elgin (the largest city in Iowa).

Taking a cue from myself by using the point system I created in my last post, I'm going to do the same here to provide you an overall score of  HP's visit:

• Bringing Fatima's Chinese takeout: +10
• Keeping S-Pie awake: -2
• S-Pie not sleeping well:  -10
• Making S-Pie eat cookies:  -2
• "Babysitting" S-Pie by making her watch TV: -10
• S-Pie wanting to watch TV really badly post-HP visit: -10
• Bringing me DD coffee and donuts at the hospital: +10
• Making fun of himself about me coping with the in-laws for so long: +10
• Babysitting and being there for his niece, nephew, sister, and BIL: +10
• Total: +6 points.  Looks like you've scored positively, so a big time JZK to you, HP, and your fam!

Oh, as promised, here was HP's recap of his visit:

Thurs night: Flew in, ate Chinese at Fatima's Kitchen, drove to DoMeBury and got a fat ticket by the cops

Fri: Babysat, Ismaeel born!

Sat: Visited Ismaeel

Sun: Grabbed Chinese, flew home

Whoa, HP!  Leave out some details for when they write a book about you.

Actually, if HP were to write an autobiography, it'd be:

• Chapter 1: Birth.  I was born, ate, pooped, and slept a lot.
• Chapter 2: Childhood.  See Chapter 1, but I also played with toys a lot.
• Chapter 3: Teen years.  See Chapter 2.
• Chapter 4: College days.  I got a degree.  Otherwise, see Chapter 2.
• Chapter 5: Adulthood. I got a job, got married, had some kids.  See Chapter 2 for more details, though. 

Anyway, as AJ and Zoobear mentioned when they saw his recap, it was quite possibly the worst recap that was ever offered.  To the point?  Yes.  But also unimaginative and utterly boring.  I'll give him points on using the exclamation point for mentioning my son, but otherwise a total #fail on his part.

As per my recap above, HP, please take notes for next time.

Cheers

Power Rankings of Friends: 2011 Edition

Hi

Alright, folks.  A little late, but as promised in the last entry, this is 2011's Power Rankings of Friends.  Now keep in mind that there's no way I could factor in all my friends (referred below as "players"), so I selected certain ones at my discretion (ten friends total for convenience).  The order of names below corresponds to the #1 spot and downwards to #10.

.	Players	Away Record	Most Improved	Quality Bang	Milestones	Show-Me Factor	Avg Score
.	KR	10	5	10	10	10	9
.	A2	9	9	9	6	10	8.6
.	Thabraize	8	4	6	10	7	7
.	Soddick	0	8	7	9	10	6.8
.	Fas	0	10	8	5	10	6.6
.	Omar	7	7	5	5	8	6.4
.	Zoobear	1	6	2	5	7	4.2
.	Sayeed	0	2	3	11	0	3.2
.	B2	-1	1	4	5	5	2.8
.	Princess	-3	3	0	10	3	2.6

Note: Excuse any crude formatting above.  Disappointingly, Google doesn't offer an easy copy & paste function of a table, so this is via HTML.  Anyway...

Ok, so first thing is first: Explaining the point system and areas of analysis...

1. Points:  Very simply, 10 points is the highest.  You can deduce from there.  But also, for something spectacularly phenom, I can award 11 points or conversely negative points for those who have disappointed phenomly.
2. Away Record:  Correspond's to the player's record for visiting me.
3. Most Improved:  This looks back at a player's 2011 season (aka "friendship") and assess objectively how much they improved from the prior season.
4. Quality Bang:  Bangin with da homies is a must and the quality of a bang session is huge in a given season.  In-person bangs are obviously worth the most, but being that I'm on the threshold of civilization, I also have to factor in phone, text, FaceTime, and email bangs.
5. Milestone:  Look, we're all team players vying for the championship (me), but individual milestones/achievements/etc. are critical, so this measures the big happenings in a player's season.
6. Show-Me Factor:  I added this one for a couple reasons: (A) I wasn't too thrilled with some of the results that initially came out when I didn't have this column and (B) related to that, this is more of an emotional "what feels right" category.  

OK, now explaining how freakin KR claimed the #1 spot.  Something I really, really tried to change.  I even assigned him all negative ten points in all categories at the onset, but at the end of the day, my obvious objectivity and current nauseating headache took over and blinded my gut decision.  A pretty monumental achievement when you factor in just how big my gut is...

KR is ranked highest in Away Record because he went out of his way to hang out with Panda, AJ, and me during the ad hoc guys weekend in Do-me-bury.  Specifically, while being out here on the East Coast, he initially planned to hang out just for a night, but once he got word of Panda's and AJ's pending visit, he changed his schedule at Lens Crafters to get out of work on a Friday so he could hang out from Thurs night -- Sunday afternoon.  Pretty legit move.  Of note is having A2 as #9 as this was something I went back-n-forth on.  He could very well be #10 here given that the weekend he chilled with me, he was accommodating of everything and anything I threw at him.  And it was a lot: spending most of Saturday with the wife + baby when it was previously assumed that it'd just be him and me and also spending Sunday with some of my family at a masjid due to a Quran khatm for my uncle.  A2, in an MVP-like fashion, was all for it and very supportive.  For a single dude coming to visit his boy, that's ultra legit.  Usually the host has to accommodate, but this guy killed it with a role reversal.  Now I'm regretting not putting him here as #10 or even #11.  Hmm, I'll mull that one over tonight...

Players with zero points in Away Record earned it by not making any effort to visit me.  Zoobear gets 1 point because on at least a couple occasions he made an effort to at least feign interest in wanting to visit.  Negative one point goes to B2 simply because I regard him as a usually good player so the expectations are big.  And Princess utterly bombed this category because he promised calling me on my sal gira to set-up a DM date with T for some playtime in February, but I found out that he's going on the IR list with T in February instead (some tropical vacation).  Thanks, buddy!  The 2012 season isn't looking good for you!

Most Improved top dog goes to Fasman.  Fasman really stepped up to the plate starting strong about this time last year on the amazing Irvine (aka Irwine) trip.  He busted out of his RG shell with some legit jokes, some naat singing, and some more legit jokes which continued throughout the year.  It was unexpected and in some ways I'm almost in disbelief.  Kudos, Fas.  A2 and Soddick (aka Socks) also ranked high due to some email correspondences that have been utterly phenom.  Of note here is also Omar, who has warmly welcomed me to the EC and specifically to NYC.  Even though we used to live only minutes apart from each other back in Chicago, Omar and me have def had a couple good bang sessions with Omar actively trying to set-up more throughout the year.  Props, kid.

Once again, KR edges A2 in another category, this time Quality Bang.  Mad rivalry between these guys.  Good thing they're on the same team.  But still.  Anyway, this area of analysis definitely ties into Away Record, but also factors the virtual hangouts (email, text, etc.).  Both have been extremely active on text and email, but ultimately the edge is slightly given to KR in this area due to KR's willingness to fly me and fam back out to Chicago for his wedding.  Princess almost got negative points here, too, because the only time he ever wanted to be a virtual presence is when he annoyingly emailed anyone and everyone: STL >>>>>> Chi.  As another player, Kamran Ch (not KR), noted in a recent email, Princess adds as many ">" signs to compensate...anyway...

Milestones is an area I really like because it rewards the good stuff - glad tidings, if you will - that these gents were blessed with.  Sayeed, as much as I really tried to fight to get him to tie with Princess for the tenth spot, earned an unprecedented 11 due to his remarkable journey for his adorable son, Yusuf, to Pakistan.  Just read this legit blog Sayeed and his wife created. Ma sha Allah.  May Allah reward what they have done immensely in this world and the Hereafter.  Aameen.  KR got a 10 due to his long-awaited marriage and Tabz and Princess earn 10 for the births of their baller lil sons.  Alhamdullilah all around.  Everyone else earned a five instead of zero because we all have things to be grateful for at some level.  A2, however, got a six because of his good looks, ma sha Allah.

Finally, the Show-Me Factor:  I guess I should justify the low-ranking scores here.  Princess earned a three despite all predictions of him earning negative three thousand.  In fact, when I entered a positive three into the spreadsheet, Google Spreadsheets auto-updated his score to -3000.  Amazing how everyone on Earth has the same worldview of him.  Fortunately for Princess, I am buddies with Panda, who created technology and was able to use his Data-like pasitronic neural network to tap into Google's network and manually modify the data entry to +3.  In fact, the recent Mission Impossible was loosely based on Panda's work to pull this off.  OK, so anyway, Princess gets positive ranking here only because he's a dad now, ma sha Allah, and has notably been in more contact with me to improve his game in 2011 than T, who is currently under review for having a rule/exception for him as per prior entry.  Sayeed is rewarded a zero simply because he has on more than one occasion regarded himself as the Grand Mufti of the US, Spiritual Master & Healer to All, believes anyone who meets him has taken bayyah with him, etc.  Soddick once referred to Sayeed's bravado as "confidence factor," but I'd like to simply call it ECJBness (East Coast Jag Bag-ness).

And that, ladies & gentlemen, concludes 2011's PR of Friends - our very first edition and potentially last depending on fan (and player) reaction.  But if we do return, let's see how things change up in 2011.  Congrats to all and, notably, KR.  (Ugh, so that's what it feels like to vomit in your mouth.)

Player Notes:  You know, I really thought my Top 3 picks were going to be Soddick, Fasihuddin, and A2 simply based on how much these three chaps have come out of the wood works.  They did it big.  But then I decided that if I'm going to do a PR of Friends, I may as well go all out and do it big with a point system and everything.  I was really surprised that Tabz found his way to the top, but being more active on and the latest/last member of an elite email list, having a baby (ma sha Allah), and visiting me proved to be huge for this dude.  Meanwhile, KR must've made some dua when he was in Ramadan KR mode to get the top spot.  In some cases, I think this guy should be ranked lower than Princess, but, alas!, he is a fellow TB and I enjoyed sleeping alongside him at The Retreat.  Props go to Omar as well for his efforts in '11; he's a rising star in reality and, it seems, fantasy football.  B2, if only your wife and mine were friends, maybe it'd make it easier for you to visit me... And Sayeed, while you also deserve similar recognition as Princess and KR, we know you're Muslim, ma sha Allah, so please calm down.


I really hope no one is offended and if you are, then I'm def noting this for 2012's PRs...





cheers

Power Rankings of Friends: Ground Rules

Hey

Always looking to stir up some controversy, this potentially new perennial Power Rankings (PR) of Friends is being written for a couple reasons:

1. I once debated the idea of writing a PR for my friends’ wives when I was single. No, not based on looks, you dirty-minded fools, but based upon who I got along with the most. At the time, I considered Princess’, T-Wade’s, and AJ’s women until (a) my friends, especially T, told me it was going to be a really bad idea and create tears in the fabric of our community and (b) I realized that none of those wives particularly liked me or treated me too well due to their raging jealousy of the indisputable fact that their husbands prefer me over them. And so an otherwise brilliant idea was crushed.



2. I have no friends here in Danbury, so it makes me appreciate my friends even more, which of course means that I have to categorize them like it’s high school all over. You can't really appreciate anything or anyone unless you objectify them. Words to live by, folks...

For those that are already smitten with this idea, I am afraid to inform you that there are going to be some ground rules (GRs) established. Call it being-a-dad, but GRs are important even though, like any good rule, they can be broken when it's convenient (for me). I intend in this blog post to first establish the GRs and then subsequently issue the PRs for 2011.

And, now, the GRs...

Ground Rules for the Power Rankings of Friends:

A. The Bonds of Brotherhood Rule: I will not be including my brothers on the PR list because, while they are certainly my friends, they are my bros and no one can really be compared to them, Alhamdullilah. They stand tall in a league all to themselves. [1]

B. The AJ is My Homie and The Fourth Shakur Rule (aka The AJIMHATFS Rule): AJ, out of fairness to others, cannot be factored. Assume moving forward that he has secured the #1 spot, so truly, the #1 person you will see below will be #1* (note asterisk usage, which ties back to The AJIMHATFS Rule).

C. The BIL Rule: I am a happily married man, Alhamdullilah, and therefore including HP in the PR, as much as I want to, will not be allowed simply because I am not only afraid of my wife and potentially #whipped, but he just so happens to be the one and only mamujaan to my daughter, so I guess you can say that I am #doublewhipped. Besides, could you imagine my wife’s reaction when she sees HP at the bottom of the PR list EVERY year?! [2]

D. The HEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEeee Rule (aka The T Rule): NOTE: This rule is under review. T will not be included either. While this guy could’ve easily been a Fourth Shakur as well, he instead lives in perpetual fear of my family due to his belief that, to this day, they hate him. My Dear T, That was only fresh year, bro. OK, maybe junior year, too, when we dormed together, but still…get over it. Tragically, this rule, while currently in place due to a lot of history/bangin', is under review at this time because T has fallen victim to The OB (Oakbrook) lifestyle. Under this influence, I have seen more Facebook check-ins of T at fancy hibachi restaurants in Naperville and at his in-laws than check-ins with me. It’s traumatizing, but what can I do? Also, he happens to be the father of Lil RG, Alhamdullilah, so I cannot give him too much slack should I have hopes for the future of this relationship.

E. The Eswft Rule: NOTE: This rule is under review. As much as Erik has fallen off the map, it’s nonetheless Erik and what I have come to expect of him since our post-DePaul days so he is exempted from the PR, too. Given the amount of history/bangin' and the fact that when we see each other (rarely) it’s like we’re back at Seton Hall all over again, this rule remains in tact; however, I cannot in good conscience ignore the fact of his increasing lack of attention towards moi. Erik, step your game up in ’12, son!

F. The Panda Rule (aka The Love-Hate Relationship Rule): Note: This rule is being considered to being put under review. You know how you see those relationship statuses on social networking sites that say, “It’s complicated?” Well, the people who came up with that definitely had Panda and me in mind. Virtually speaking, Farooq definitely has grounds to be ineligible to have a GR for him as he enjoys being a jerk to me via email and text. But then he non-virtually does things that are amazing like surprise visits to Do-Me-Bury, random gifts like chocolate covered pomegranates, etc. (MBN to be me / ma sha Allah). So it’s mostly because of the “hate” periods of our relationship that this rule is being considered to be under review, but the “love” periods of our relationship block the immediate review.

There are definitely other GRs that I can establish here and justify. For example, I could create one for KR out of tariqa-based loyalties alone; or Zoobear because he’s just too freaking funny; or A2 for being an overall stallion of a guy. But then I’ll be traveling down a path of creating GRs for everyone with obvious exception to Princess Hassan. And, let me be clear about this, readers, there’s no way I can live with myself for having Princess be #1 in my PR of Friends [3].

Alright, folks. That concludes the officials GRs. I'll see you guys back here soon with the first ever PR.


Side Notes:
[1] Although why not create a PR system between them two? Normally I would say that the #1 spot in this Brothers PR List would be the bro that buys me stuff, but that’s too easy. So why not have it geared towards my daughter instead? The #1 spot would then be the brother who spoils her the most. If it just so happens that this would result in buying things for me, as I’m sure my daughter’s happiness is also rooted in part in my own, then so be it…
[2] Sorry, I could not resist getting in that last line…

[3] Yep, you guessed it. That entire paragraph was crafted as a loophole here with my friends to hopefully make them know that I heart them all. And to continuously point out my hatred for Princess.




cheers

Tabz Does Danbury & NYC: Recap

^ proof that Tabz still prayed even while his BIL, Sayeed, was in Pak

You have reached the voicemail of...

Ok, that has nothing to do with the recap, but I simply love the passion and intensity of which Tabz says that on his VM. Here goes the recap of Tabz’s visit to Do-me-bury last weekend:

Tabz had confirmed that he would be done with his meetings and available on Saturday around 1pm. So, in typical Pac fashion, I got there promptly at 2:15pm. In this case, however, I am totally going to leverage the I-brought-my-wife-and-kid card as the main reason for being late. TBHWU, I didn’t want to bring the wife and kid, but the day before I was out all day including the better part of the evening due to a work team building event, so I had a hard time telling my only friend in Danbury, my wife, that I was going to be gone for yet another entire day and, on top of that, to NYC – home of civilization as it relates to CT. Fortunately for me, our guest didn’t mind nor did he even give me a look of, Really, Pac? You’re bringing your wife and daughter to hang out with?! Ma sha Allah, Tabz is a nice guy.

Anyway, as you would expect, Tabz stayed in a baller Marriot hotel which was literally in the heart of Times Square. When I picked him up from the lobby, he greeted me with (1) his baller designer name brand two-piece luggage set both with an Admiral’s Club nameplates in black and gold (probably 24k gold) and (2) a box of sweets he picked up from his client, APPNA. I guess at this point, it’s fitting to point out Tabz’s APPNA experience...

“Very Paki” is what he initially told me about the organization. Immediately I thought to myself, Oh,that means there was probably complete segregation, lectures on the deen, and RGs everywhere. But, much to my (cough, cough) surprise, by “Paki” he meant “Hydro,” which meant that it was pretty liberal. For example, namaz was never on any agenda item; clothing was probably optional; and bhangra-ing was definitely mandatory (note: Arif Lahore – whom I’ve enjoyed since my childhood thanks to one of my uncles – was going to perform later that night and Tabz had two tickets! Man, why oh why did I bring my family?! #missedopportunity). Outside of his description of APPNA, which really wasn’t a surprise to me (unfortunately), Tabz kept pronouncing “Pakistan” like “Pack-is-tan” like he was a lifelong Texan governor running on the Republican ticket. In fact, my wife still can’t get over it. I avoided the temptation of asking Tabz to pronounce “Islam” and “Muslim” for fear that he’d say “Izlam” and “Moozlum.” Maybe it’s Tabz making up for his fobbiness? Maybe it’s the East Coast making people into ECJBs? Whatever it is, I pray it stops. It is an affront to me and my fellow Punjabi and new dance partner, Sami.

The initial plan was to take Tabz to “the usual” places with a stop in Brooklyn and particularly the DUMBO area with visits to Grimaldi’s pizza and a gorgeous view of DT Manhattan. Unfortunately, with the day being overcast, it started raining, so we decided to hit up Little Italy (i.e. NoLiTa) and try out another popular pizza joint very well known in NYC – Lombardi’s (supposedly the first pizzeria in Amreeka). Our overall verdict of Lomardi’s was that it was very legit, very good pizza. Everyone enjoyed it. But I have to ultimately agree with my wife and say that Grimaldi’s has a slight edge when it comes to both restaurants’ Neapolitan style pizza. Regardless, Lombardi’s is still a good place to throw back/fold up some NYC style pizza.

Soon after, we hit up Rice to Riches. This was a place that Tabz had been to before. It’s basically kheer gone crazy: just imagine kheer (rice pudding) but with a million different flavor selections like tiramisu, custard, caramel, rocky road, etc. On one hand, it might sound really bad, but on the other, especially for kheer enthusiasts, it sounds like a must-try. The three of us (four, if you include lil Suhaylie Pie) really enjoyed it. It’s small inside so we stood while eating and enjoyed the creative marketing slogans of the restaurant. Just check out these pics to know what I’m saying, in addition to some of my own:

Immediately after Rice to Riches, we passed by a Pinkberry (they’re adjacent to one another), so we were of course compelled to go. Tabz tried a sample or two whereas I hit up a small original with strawberries and chocolate crunch toppings (the chocolate crunch being Pinkberry’s primary attraction to both me and the wifey).

After that, Tabz, thinking that Sayeed was just around the corner, requested that we go hit up a masjid for Asr salat. MBN being RG in NYC whilst being an ECJB whilst also trying to DM. So we walked a few blocks to some random masjid (thank you, Zabihah.com iPhone app!) before we left the general SoHo/Nolita/Chinatown area. It’s nice that there are so many masjids/places to pray in the City – you could probably say it’s a 1:1 ratio of halal carts and masjids, which is saying a lot.

BTW, side note: I found out that Tabz knew a lot about NYC eating namely because he was out in NJ for a while about a year ago and in that time, he hung out a lot with his brother’s sister’s first cousin’s aunt’s neighbor’s babysitter’s friend’s cousin (OK, the chain was actually the bolded part of that description, but it felt like it took forever for Tabz to provide the chain of friendship). Anyway, his friend is a guy named Sameer. Sameer has a blog that I’ve actually come across in the past and probably many Muslims are aware of it, too – Sameer’s Eats. Pretty cool.

Ma sha Allah, Tabz’s connections run deep. As does his family (ma sha Allah, ma sha Allah). Another new thing I learned about him is that the guy has four sisters! I had NO idea! I always thought it was just three bros. I’m beginning to think with his connections, family secrets (OK, I guess it’s probably not a secret to his family that they have four girls, but you know what I mean), pronunciation of Pakistan, that there’s more than meets the eye with Tabz. That maybe he’s more than someone who likes to watch movies that don’t require thinking…

After our eating and praying escapades, we were planning to hit up 53rd and 6th for some combo platters to take back home, but before going, Tabz called an audible: “I’ve always wanted to see Imam Siraj Wahhaj’s masjid.” So we happily obliged our RG guest. Truthfully, I’m glad that he wanted to as not too long ago it just hit me that indeed Imam Siraj is from NYC and that I should check him out one of these days, so I was happy to oblige. Alhamdullilah, our Lord has His amazing ways. Oh, plus we needed to pray maghrib. Good thing to do.

I entered the address into my iPhone from the masjid’s (Masjid al Taqwa) website and off we went. Shortly before reaching our destination, Tabz commented that I was heading the wrong way. I looked at my phone. Nope, I was still on the purple line. I realized Tabz had an older iPhone so, in true Apple elitistry, I scoffed at him. But when we arrived to our destination, we were sitting in my car outside of an HSBC bank. We were confused. We saw an HSBC bank and a lot of white folk. You know that’s troubling because if you know about Imam Siraj Wahhaj, you know that his masjid and area aren’t in the best of locations. He mentions it in his talks, so it’s no secret. Tabz and I started to wonder what type of fundraising efforts does the Imam pull off?! MBN – the masjid is now a bank!

Ok, so what had happened was that the website’s address was missing a “1” in front of the address, which meant that Tabz had the right address he pulled from Google (Google knows your location better than your website does, I suppose) and so we had to travel an extra 20 minutes deep into the less desirable areas of Brooklyn. On the way, we were shocked to go through an area that was clearly dominated by Jewish folks. Like HC/HD ones, too. On either side of the street we were driving, you’d see men dressed in all black, with long beards, and wearing big black furry boxes (ok, hats) on their heads. It was a sight to see. I don’t even think you’d see that in predominantly Jewish areas back in Chicago. Soon enough, about 5 minutes driving though that area, we were in the land of halal chicken joints and so we stereotypically knew that we were on the right path.

Eventually we get to the masjid and, ma sha Allah, it was really nice. The immediate block within the masjid also looked much nicer and safer than the surrounding areas. You’d see fellow mumins, mostly Black, everywhere, and all very friendly and happy to greet you. We also noted that almost every shop on that block was an Islamic bookstore, a halal grocery, a halal restaurant, etc. Subhan Allah. Imam Siraj and his community are indeed impressive. Tabz told us he had heard that the surrounding area of the masjid was cleaned up, and so we witnessed that indeed it was. Unfortunately, we arrived a little late so we had apparently just missed Imam Siraj himself. I felt that this community was much more community-oriented and welcoming versus your typical desi suburban masjid. It’s more of a sad reality, but I felt it as did my wife. My wife came back from the sister’s side energetic and happy because she said every sister in the room greeted her very nicely and respectfully (would our desi sub-community do the same to someone outside of that sub-community in one of those suburban masjids? I hope so, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t the case). I also noticed a sign posted on bulletin boards throughout the masjid: SICK LIST. Impressive; the masjid provided a list of sick people and their contact info so that you could (1) make dua for them and (2) visit them to see if you could do anything. Blew. Me. Away. Alhamdullilah. In a poor community, you had the richest of hearts. We prayed and left a little after taking the area in. Right around that time the azan for Isha goes off. It’s actually being played outside of the masjid on loud speaker loud enough for people in the area to hear. WOW. Subhan Allah. So amazing. The beauty and impact of our faith, no doubt.

Afterwards, we hit up 53rd and 6th and also Magnolia Bakery as I learned that Tabz doesn’t like dessert too much, but does enjoy cupcakes. So it was probably my fault the next morning for breakfast when I asked my wife to make her awesome Nutella crepes. Tabz ate most of it but in the end he traded me – grade school style – his crepes for one of the plain crepes I was going to feed Suhaylie with for more egg. I guess we should’ve known that the Hydro Nawab only eats kichri keema and probably biryani in the mornings. Perhaps the entire “Pack-is-tan” thing threw us off and we thought he was a lil more white washed? Guess not? Then again, why did he refuse the homemade (by my in-laws) achar? This guy is an enigma!

All in all, it was a short trip (I didn’t even have time to give him a proper, traditional tour of Danbury since his flight out the next day didn’t give us much time after breakfast), but we made the most of it and we were truly honored to have a good friend and a good guest (despite him teaching Chinese, I mean, Hydro-style Urdu, to my daughter – I’ve never heard “nakko” so many times; I really thought that word was a joke and not something really used) come visit us. We thank him also for the wonderful gift he gave us – it’s a stand that holds the lil charcoal-like thingies to make your crib smell like an RG fob’s crib (I’m so good with describing things by their name, right?). But, tbhwu, I really love that stuff; no joke. It was perfect and much, much appreciated. Alhamdullilah, I am really happy to have had that time and moments with an awesome friend, ma sha Allah.

May Allah reward Tabz and his family, most especially his mother as well as his children, with the best in this life and the best in the Hereafter. May He (swt) shower them with His (swt) infinite mercy, forgiveness, and favor. Allah huma Salli Allah Muhammad. Aameen! Please remember him and again, especially his mom, in your duas.

JZK, Tabz!

Cheers

Yearning for The Prophet (sw)

Subhan Allah


I’ve had the good fortune to receive an email about the arrival of a sacred cup to Chechnya: the cup of The Prophet (sw).  I’ll copy and paste the brief article summarizing this event as well as the YouTube video clip documenting the auspicious, majestic occasion.  But first, some reflections after watching the clip:


I felt as if the entire city was at a standstill upon the arrival of the cup.  It was a scene you’d imagine or have witnessed only on TV: like the hero, or a savior, or an object of tremendous power being heralded about.  It’s powerful, moving.  The cup was being paraded around in a Bentley.  Initially, I think I both grimaced and almost chuckled when I saw the cup being transported via a Bentley thinking to myself, The Prophet (sw) was not about flashy cars!  But then I realized that if we lived in the time of The Prophet (sw), how would we greet him (sw)?  Would it not be with our best?  So a Bentley from that respect is perhaps but a good start.

What amazes me to the point of speechlessness is how we are so moved by the possessions of The Prophet (sw).  Just the possessions themselves hold so much value.  What, then, about the value of the one who possessed them (sw)?  Subhan Allah.  You cannot escape the thought of asking yourself, What if I was in his (sw) blessed presence?  I recall the words from the Urdu poem and naat that state:

Khuda ki azmatain kya hay, Muhammad Mustafa jaanay,

Maqaam-e-mustafa kya hay, Muhammad ka Khuda jaanay.

No wonder that even after The Prophet’s (sw) passing, our next most righteous people, the Sahaba, still emulated every physical motion of The Prophet (sw).  If memory serves me correctly, was it not Hazrat Umar (R) who would move his horse or walk the exact same steps of The Prophet (sw) even when it didn’t make “sense” to do so?  Hazrat Umar (R) was in the physical and spiritual presence of the Best of Creation and you could see how apparent his love of The Prophet (Sw) was with such a magnified sense of respect.  So perhaps the baraqa of these artifacts is that it brings us closer to the Beloved Prophet (sw).

Sacred artifacts of The Prophet (sw) should rightfully always deserve our attention, desire, and respect.  I’m reminded now about the tremendous honor my cousin here in CT has.  He was asked some time ago to keep a hair of The Prophet (sw) at his home by a family who had the hair in their family for generations.  My cousin then built and customized an entire room in his house for the purpose of being “good enough” to hold the hair of The Prophet (sw).  It is by far the best part of his house.  Peaceful and serene and surrounded by books of our faith.  Subhan Allah.  Maybe moving forward I should call it his Bentley Room?

You may begin to wonder if I’m overdoing it.  “It’s just a cup.”  But I cannot look it at that way.  Recently, I read one of the great scholars from Deoband, Hadrat Maulana Rashid Ahmed Gangohi (rh), say, “It is enough for us that this cloth felt the breeze of Madinah” in response to one of his students questioning the value of clothes from Madinah.  In this light, limiting the cup to just a cup would be disrespectful in my eyes.

We feel the closeness and are engulfed and consumed by it.  If this is not love, then I don’t know what is.  There is no one else that can bring about such a change in our hearts… be it a temporary feeling or something (insha Allah) that impacts us for a lifetime.  It is uniquely a power that belonged uniquely to The Prophet (sw).

Ya Allah. You honored us with The Prophet (sw).

Us, and we are but Your slaves who are most undeserving and sinful.

We beg for even a chance to get a glimpse of the path that He (sw) walked on; a path that leads to endless Bliss with You (Swt).

We beg for that comforting breeze of Madinah.

We beg for your pardon for we know that we are undeserving to even ask, but we are hopeful and in need, so we ask that through Thy Mercy you grant it to us nonetheless.

Ya Allah.  You have blessed us with knowledge of knowing who The Prophet (sw) is.  With love for The Prophet (sw), so we ask that we do not take that for granted.  Guide us on the right path, Ya Allah!

Ya Allah, how can we even begin to fathom Your Mercy upon us; You who sent The Mercy to All Worlds to us; You, Oh Creator of Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (sw)!  Forgive us for our sins and open our hearts to be in unison with the heartbeat the of The Prophet (sw); to have each beat and every breath filled with Thy rememberance.  Aameen!

I’ll warn you now: you may need to watch the clip when you’re alone or not afraid to tear up.  The love of The Holy Prophet (sw) is tremendous and I can only hope I cried enough tears:

The Holy Prophet's Relic Brought To Chechnya

By
AFP

Published Thursday, September 22, 2011

Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov (right) escorts the Prophet Muhammad's cup
and carpets in a Rolls Royce Car from an airport to Grozny central
mosque on Thursday (AFP)

Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov broke into floods of tears as he unveiled
a purported relic of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) at a
ceremony, reports said on Thursday.
The government of the majority Muslim Russian Northern Caucasus region,
raised the 1,400-year-old cup which is believed to belonged to the
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
The cup had earlier been flown into the Chechen capital Grozny from
London where it was kept by unnamed descendants of Prophet Muhammad's
(PBUH) cousin and fourth Caliph Ali Ibn Abi Talib.
Kadyrov triumphantly carried the boxed relic straight off the plane at
the airport to the ceremony on Wednesday.
The flag-waving delegation then arrived to Grozny's central Mosque
greeted by a crowd of singing and clapping people.
The Chechen leader then proceeded to take the jade-coloured bowl out of
bubble wrapping, and broke down in uncontrollable tears after kissing
the object, covering his reddening face and shaking violently.
The Chechen government said in a statement on its website that "the cup
was used by Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), passing to his cousin
Ali Ibn Abi Talib."
Anyone will be able to drink water from it on the day of Prophet
Muhammad's (PBUH) birthday, the Chechen government said.
Kadyrov, who has ruled the region since 2007 and was reappointed earlier
this year, has overseen several grandiose projects and events in Grozny.
He has also encouraged the revival of Islam in the region, inaugurating
in 2008 the "Heart of Chechnya" mosque, said to be the biggest in
Europe.

Here is the Video Clip of the Event
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZi8ZnGIcTo&feature=share

Allah huma Salli Allah Muhammad

The Path

While traveling the path, one can only hope to seek out the light.

Yet, it's important for the traveler to know that the light cannot be controlled. Its rays extend far and wide; into the deepest of paths penetrating the densest of jungles, but will only shine upon those whom it's Creator commands it.

So, have patience. Go forth and continue your drive towards seeking the light. For a traveler, even the reflection or glimpse of the light is strong enough to never stop trying.

May Allah grant us mercy and forgiveness and to always seek out His Light. Aameen.


salaam

Remembering Death: On the Passing of My Friend, Matt

A friend and colleague of mine, Matt, passed away this morning.

I will remember Matt for his incredible sense of humor and compassion towards others. He was a guy you could talk to about anything -- from the philosophical to the mundane. He was also competitive, ambitious, and someone who loved to horse around, but always in a way that you couldn’t help but to laugh even if you were the target of his jokes. He respected your beliefs and also stood by the principles of his beliefs, too.

I have known him for almost seven years now. Specifically, we knew each other through our work. In fact, we worked at two different companies together over almost a five year period (it was Matt who convinced me to leave one job for another one).

His sad departure, unfortunately, was imminent. He suffered from kidney cancer, which, after a couple years of battling it, took a bad turn. I tried to get in touch with him, but it was understandably difficult. He was trying to maximize his time with family and close friends. A few weeks ago he had updated his Facebook status to say that he was closing his fb account so he could focus more time with his family and less in virtual space. Actually, he mistyped and wrote that he needed to spend more time in the virtual world, so he immediately followed it up with another status to clarify, “Wait, non-virtual world. See, one more giggle.” Always joking (he later decided to keep his fb up because so many people were writing him well wishes). Of course, his status had me worried that his health was not improving. Shortly after, I received an email from an old co-worker that his time was coming. I emailed her to ask if they had any idea how long, but it was difficult to predict. I texted Matt the same day to see if I could speak to him. I didn’t hear from him until a few days later. His response:

Shak, so, so sorry for not getting back to you. Well, it’s time for me to go. At Peace with everything. Thanks for your friendship and all God’s Love and Blessings to you and your family. Love, xxx.
[Note: didn’t want to include his last name.]

I responded: I’m at a loss of words, xxx. I wish I could still meet with you. I will always admire your strength. I will miss your humor, courage, and most especially friendship. Xxxx [his wife] should know that me & my fam are at your family’s service for anything, anytime. – Shak.

I wasn’t sure what else I could say. I imagine that my response or even lack of response really didn’t concern Matt at that moment. His thoughtful response, which gave me more closure than it probably did for him, spoke to the caliber of his character, however. With what little, precious time he had, he made sure he got back to me. Not only get back to me, but also apologize that he hadn’t done so sooner. But that was just like him to care about others.

That text convo was about 1.5 weeks ago. Today, in another email from the same former co-worker, I was informed the following:

Matt xxxx passed away this morning at 10:40am, surrounded by his family. When I have more information about his funeral arrangements, I'll pass those along.

Strangely, earlier this morning, prior to receiving the email, I was thinking of Matt, wondering if he had passed. Since our text conversation, I would google his name to see if I could find anything. Nothing would turn up. So, in a sense, it was good to know that he has passed away, but I am undeniably sad to receive the news...

I thought about how difficult his last days must have been. How his wife and children were dealing with it. I felt from his text message that, due to his faith, they were able to deal with it in a positive way relative to their situation. I could imagine Matt, an extremely loving father, lovingly explain his inevitable departure to his kids with perhaps a promise that they'll see each other again. That he was off to a better place as so many people, from many different faiths, put it. I could see him telling his sons and one daughter that they should be happy for their dad because of where he is going. But then I think about what he's feeling on the inside: anguish and sadness on missing out on his children's future and well-being; pain to leave his long time love, since his college days, behind; pain to see his father and mother lose yet another son to cancer (one of his elder brothers passed away just a few years ago). You hope for the best for his family, though, and that they maintain a tight connection with one another. That they console each other when feeling vulnerable and especially reminiscent of Matt.

Death is scary. And unpredictable. It sends a cold shiver down the spine. But death can have the inverse effect it has on those who are fortunate to keep going. Meaning that you can also take away some perspective from death; a perspective that should make you live your days much more fully, much more vibrantly, and with much more determination to do more, love more, and count your blessings more.

For one, you hope that the same strength shown as well as the level of acceptance of death Matt had -- being at peace with death, as he told me -- is something that you can grasp and deal with. It then offers reflection as to how you're living your life and life's purpose. Are we maximizing it? How connected are we to the non-virtualness of it? The questions, and sometimes answers that we innately know or have been taught, but ignore, come like a gushing river.

Moreover, as a Muslim, we are encouraged to give dawah to non-Muslims. Essentially, to educate and call others to Islam and our way of life as it is a complete, beautiful, and special way of life. A way to draw near to God and gain His pleasure. From this perspective, I feel as though I failed Matt in this. Sure, we talked about our religious beliefs on occasion and he always appreciated and respected what I told him about our faith. But I can’t help to question if it was enough? Only Allah can change people’s hearts, but could I have been a vessel to carry this out?

Perhaps, at this point, it’s futile to ask with respect to Matt because Allah’s Will has already been carried out. Regardless, I can’t but help to feel this way. I am saddened by losing a friend and I am further saddened by losing out on opportunity. With that thought, I’d like to encourage other Muslims to keep this in mind. I am sure many of us have friends, even good friends, as I still do, who are non-Muslims. How have we tried encouraging or promoting such friends about Islam? How do we not know that even something minor we say to someone cannot impact them through Allah’s Infinite Mercy and turn their hearts to Islam? Will such friends call unto Allah and say that we (me, you, our ummah) didn’t warn them or try hard enough?

In anyone’s death, there should be remembrance of Allah, for we all return to Him (SWT). I pray for Allah’s Forgiveness and Guidance. I pray that He (SWT) allows us to die with strong iman That He (Swt) blesses us with the understanding of reflecting upon death, such that we maximize life. Aameen.


Duas