Power Rankings of Friends: 2011 Edition

Hi

Alright, folks.  A little late, but as promised in the last entry, this is 2011's Power Rankings of Friends.  Now keep in mind that there's no way I could factor in all my friends (referred below as "players"), so I selected certain ones at my discretion (ten friends total for convenience).  The order of names below corresponds to the #1 spot and downwards to #10.

.	Players	Away Record	Most Improved	Quality Bang	Milestones	Show-Me Factor	Avg Score
.	KR	10	5	10	10	10	9
.	A2	9	9	9	6	10	8.6
.	Thabraize	8	4	6	10	7	7
.	Soddick	0	8	7	9	10	6.8
.	Fas	0	10	8	5	10	6.6
.	Omar	7	7	5	5	8	6.4
.	Zoobear	1	6	2	5	7	4.2
.	Sayeed	0	2	3	11	0	3.2
.	B2	-1	1	4	5	5	2.8
.	Princess	-3	3	0	10	3	2.6

Note: Excuse any crude formatting above.  Disappointingly, Google doesn't offer an easy copy & paste function of a table, so this is via HTML.  Anyway...

Ok, so first thing is first: Explaining the point system and areas of analysis...

1. Points:  Very simply, 10 points is the highest.  You can deduce from there.  But also, for something spectacularly phenom, I can award 11 points or conversely negative points for those who have disappointed phenomly.
2. Away Record:  Correspond's to the player's record for visiting me.
3. Most Improved:  This looks back at a player's 2011 season (aka "friendship") and assess objectively how much they improved from the prior season.
4. Quality Bang:  Bangin with da homies is a must and the quality of a bang session is huge in a given season.  In-person bangs are obviously worth the most, but being that I'm on the threshold of civilization, I also have to factor in phone, text, FaceTime, and email bangs.
5. Milestone:  Look, we're all team players vying for the championship (me), but individual milestones/achievements/etc. are critical, so this measures the big happenings in a player's season.
6. Show-Me Factor:  I added this one for a couple reasons: (A) I wasn't too thrilled with some of the results that initially came out when I didn't have this column and (B) related to that, this is more of an emotional "what feels right" category.  

OK, now explaining how freakin KR claimed the #1 spot.  Something I really, really tried to change.  I even assigned him all negative ten points in all categories at the onset, but at the end of the day, my obvious objectivity and current nauseating headache took over and blinded my gut decision.  A pretty monumental achievement when you factor in just how big my gut is...

KR is ranked highest in Away Record because he went out of his way to hang out with Panda, AJ, and me during the ad hoc guys weekend in Do-me-bury.  Specifically, while being out here on the East Coast, he initially planned to hang out just for a night, but once he got word of Panda's and AJ's pending visit, he changed his schedule at Lens Crafters to get out of work on a Friday so he could hang out from Thurs night -- Sunday afternoon.  Pretty legit move.  Of note is having A2 as #9 as this was something I went back-n-forth on.  He could very well be #10 here given that the weekend he chilled with me, he was accommodating of everything and anything I threw at him.  And it was a lot: spending most of Saturday with the wife + baby when it was previously assumed that it'd just be him and me and also spending Sunday with some of my family at a masjid due to a Quran khatm for my uncle.  A2, in an MVP-like fashion, was all for it and very supportive.  For a single dude coming to visit his boy, that's ultra legit.  Usually the host has to accommodate, but this guy killed it with a role reversal.  Now I'm regretting not putting him here as #10 or even #11.  Hmm, I'll mull that one over tonight...

Players with zero points in Away Record earned it by not making any effort to visit me.  Zoobear gets 1 point because on at least a couple occasions he made an effort to at least feign interest in wanting to visit.  Negative one point goes to B2 simply because I regard him as a usually good player so the expectations are big.  And Princess utterly bombed this category because he promised calling me on my sal gira to set-up a DM date with T for some playtime in February, but I found out that he's going on the IR list with T in February instead (some tropical vacation).  Thanks, buddy!  The 2012 season isn't looking good for you!

Most Improved top dog goes to Fasman.  Fasman really stepped up to the plate starting strong about this time last year on the amazing Irvine (aka Irwine) trip.  He busted out of his RG shell with some legit jokes, some naat singing, and some more legit jokes which continued throughout the year.  It was unexpected and in some ways I'm almost in disbelief.  Kudos, Fas.  A2 and Soddick (aka Socks) also ranked high due to some email correspondences that have been utterly phenom.  Of note here is also Omar, who has warmly welcomed me to the EC and specifically to NYC.  Even though we used to live only minutes apart from each other back in Chicago, Omar and me have def had a couple good bang sessions with Omar actively trying to set-up more throughout the year.  Props, kid.

Once again, KR edges A2 in another category, this time Quality Bang.  Mad rivalry between these guys.  Good thing they're on the same team.  But still.  Anyway, this area of analysis definitely ties into Away Record, but also factors the virtual hangouts (email, text, etc.).  Both have been extremely active on text and email, but ultimately the edge is slightly given to KR in this area due to KR's willingness to fly me and fam back out to Chicago for his wedding.  Princess almost got negative points here, too, because the only time he ever wanted to be a virtual presence is when he annoyingly emailed anyone and everyone: STL >>>>>> Chi.  As another player, Kamran Ch (not KR), noted in a recent email, Princess adds as many ">" signs to compensate...anyway...

Milestones is an area I really like because it rewards the good stuff - glad tidings, if you will - that these gents were blessed with.  Sayeed, as much as I really tried to fight to get him to tie with Princess for the tenth spot, earned an unprecedented 11 due to his remarkable journey for his adorable son, Yusuf, to Pakistan.  Just read this legit blog Sayeed and his wife created. Ma sha Allah.  May Allah reward what they have done immensely in this world and the Hereafter.  Aameen.  KR got a 10 due to his long-awaited marriage and Tabz and Princess earn 10 for the births of their baller lil sons.  Alhamdullilah all around.  Everyone else earned a five instead of zero because we all have things to be grateful for at some level.  A2, however, got a six because of his good looks, ma sha Allah.

Finally, the Show-Me Factor:  I guess I should justify the low-ranking scores here.  Princess earned a three despite all predictions of him earning negative three thousand.  In fact, when I entered a positive three into the spreadsheet, Google Spreadsheets auto-updated his score to -3000.  Amazing how everyone on Earth has the same worldview of him.  Fortunately for Princess, I am buddies with Panda, who created technology and was able to use his Data-like pasitronic neural network to tap into Google's network and manually modify the data entry to +3.  In fact, the recent Mission Impossible was loosely based on Panda's work to pull this off.  OK, so anyway, Princess gets positive ranking here only because he's a dad now, ma sha Allah, and has notably been in more contact with me to improve his game in 2011 than T, who is currently under review for having a rule/exception for him as per prior entry.  Sayeed is rewarded a zero simply because he has on more than one occasion regarded himself as the Grand Mufti of the US, Spiritual Master & Healer to All, believes anyone who meets him has taken bayyah with him, etc.  Soddick once referred to Sayeed's bravado as "confidence factor," but I'd like to simply call it ECJBness (East Coast Jag Bag-ness).

And that, ladies & gentlemen, concludes 2011's PR of Friends - our very first edition and potentially last depending on fan (and player) reaction.  But if we do return, let's see how things change up in 2011.  Congrats to all and, notably, KR.  (Ugh, so that's what it feels like to vomit in your mouth.)

Player Notes:  You know, I really thought my Top 3 picks were going to be Soddick, Fasihuddin, and A2 simply based on how much these three chaps have come out of the wood works.  They did it big.  But then I decided that if I'm going to do a PR of Friends, I may as well go all out and do it big with a point system and everything.  I was really surprised that Tabz found his way to the top, but being more active on and the latest/last member of an elite email list, having a baby (ma sha Allah), and visiting me proved to be huge for this dude.  Meanwhile, KR must've made some dua when he was in Ramadan KR mode to get the top spot.  In some cases, I think this guy should be ranked lower than Princess, but, alas!, he is a fellow TB and I enjoyed sleeping alongside him at The Retreat.  Props go to Omar as well for his efforts in '11; he's a rising star in reality and, it seems, fantasy football.  B2, if only your wife and mine were friends, maybe it'd make it easier for you to visit me... And Sayeed, while you also deserve similar recognition as Princess and KR, we know you're Muslim, ma sha Allah, so please calm down.


I really hope no one is offended and if you are, then I'm def noting this for 2012's PRs...





cheers