CSU: The Omen

Hi

I'm seriously debating to author a book about Chicago State along the same lines of Jeff Foxworthy's classic comedy routine, "You might be a redneck, if...," except my book would be called, "You Know You Attend CSU When..."

I'm in no way trying to insult CSU. After all, an education is an education no matter where you go (Alhamdullilah). It’s just a matter of what level of education you get. Or perhaps the type of people you meet along the way.

I suppose I'm inspired to write about this after what happened at class a couple Fridays ago…

We had a test on the first few chapters of my American Foreign Policy Friday night class. I arrived late that evening (first time ever, of course) to find that the professor was nowhere to be seen. No, don't get any ideas that just because CSU is located in the deep south side of the city that the professor was out getting high, simply forgot out of disinterest because of a lack of pay (which I may not necessarily fault someone), or was out getting crunked on a Friday night either (which I may not necessarily fault someone…kidding). Instead, my professor was in her office giving us some time to review for the pending test that night. That part is pretty cool because, hey, it can only help.

What happened while my professor was out was the reason for today’s entry: When I walked in, one student politely tells me, "The teacher is giving us time to study for the test.” I nodded my head and sat down quietly. “…But what she doesn't know is that we're protesting the test because we don't think it’s fair that she was gone last week [FYI: the previous week, class was cancelled because she was sick] and is now making us take a test that we're not prepared for!" Other students nodded while some applauded and even more cheered in agreement. I smiled and opened my book to review in case the coup’d’état failed (yes, you could say that I had an Umar-like moment. Though really if I was Umar and this is what other student told me, I would’ve probably tattle tailed on the students, cried that they were trying to avoid a test, and sit down to only be comforted by reading the chapters backwards and forwards while caressing each page with a tender love like a mother suckling her baby).

So my classmates seemed quite adamant about the not-taking-the-exam-tonight campaign with one girl particularly furious. In a high-pitched whiny voice she exclaimed, “Do you think it’s fair that she was out last week and is now giving us a test when we didn’t get to review anything last week?!” I actually wasn’t thinking along the lines since the exam date was clearly detailed in the syllabus, but the way she said it made me feel bad; like I should’ve felt outraged, too. Then again, this is also a student who says everything emotionally. The professor can ask her a question from the course text book saying, “What is the funnel of causality?” and she would reply back in an irate voice, “Well, the funnel of causality just doesn’t make sense to me!! I mean, it’s just not right! I read it, but I don’t agree with it. Like what are they trying to say? I mean, George Bush is an idiot!” Ok, I threw in the Bush comment because during any class discussion, it seems like everyone is compelled to tie in whatever point they are making to criticize Bush even if it’s not relevant, but, yeah, you get the point on this girl. (Hmm, maybe we should all try adding "George Bush is an idiot" to the end of everything we say just so we never forget?)

Irate Chick’s vociferation prompted others to echo her thoughts. Some agreed as a pretense because even though you know they were prepared, they definitely were not going to disagree. During the midst of these discussions, the class clown (who is truly a funny guy who takes joy in patronizing the professor) interrupts the flow of the discussion and calmly tells an older woman in the class, “Hey there’s a rat right there” as if he was telling her the time. A couple people laughed and he said, “No, seriously, there is. Look…”

Lo and behold, the class clown was right! Well, not entirely. The animal in question was a small mouse walking his way through the room. And so naturally immediate pandemonium broke out…

The older woman froze up wearing a look on her face as though she had just seen a grisly murder and began screaming at the top of her lungs. Other students started laughing (the ones who were furthest away) while others darted to the opposite side of the room. The class was in an uproar with yelling and laughing. Nearby classrooms closed their doors with other students peeking in as well as another professor. We closed the door after knowing that the mouse went back into a hole at the base of the wall (comforting, I suppose?) One student in typical thug-like fashion asks me laughingly, “Did you see that $#*! ?!” I nodded my head as I stayed silent convinced I was on the set of a comedy sitcom; a watchful observer I remained focused on our class’ unique culture and spirit.

Actually, speaking of spirit, in light of the spirit of students not wanting to take the test, a handful of the students got up, put on their coats, and left with one of them saying, “It’s an omen! I’m leaving!” I think that particular comment got another student to feel as though it truly was an omen for not taking the test and so she got up shortly thereafter and left, too.

In the back of my mind I kept thinking, what if this went down at another institution like DePaul? Is it actually conceivable? I just can’t imagine it would be. Then I realized that at DePaul – and most other academic institutions, I hope – they would never have a rat/mouse situation on their posh campus. Then again, maybe this is a state school thing as I now recall seeing a cockroach the size of the small mouse at CSU at UIC's medical school building when I worked there as a research assistant?

In the end, when the professor finally came back, the students made their passionate pleas for delaying the exam, but the professor did not cave in (which was surprising giving her personality). She assured us that we would know the material well and there was nothing to worry about. As for the students that left thinking that it was divine intervention (or manifest destiny in political science terms) to not take the exam, well, it wasn’t so. They came back knowing better though complaining throughout the exam.

In conclusion, to get back to my Jeff Foxworthy comment: You know you attend CSU when…

• When your classmates scheme of ways to get out of a test when the professor steps out
• When your zany professor never fails to layer her lips with an ultra shiny red lipstick… in the middle of class while lecturing. (I can't make this up, people.)
• When seeing a mouse in the middle of a classroom doesn’t draw any concern from students on how maintenance/cleanliness is kept, but instead how it provides a sign to get out of class

Look for this list to expand in the future as my adventures continue at CSU.

And remember, George Bush is an idiot.

Cheers