Fishing: The Final Frontier (Part Deux)

*** continued from previous post ***

Ahmed Hassan had nothing to say to my tirade. No response. Nothing but a sheepish and empty smile. He looked back down to the sidewalk in hopes of finding some sort of solace in the concrete pavement. It wasn't stupid for him to do that actually. For the callousness in my heart for him at that moment would make any man, woman, child, or living creature want to throw themselves into the abyss of a never-ending water well.

I forced myself to look away from his pitiful state and cast my gaze elsewhere. Taha was walking with the other defeated foe a few paces ahead of us. As if he knew that I was looking at him, he turned around and walked up to me and in a quiet whisper said, "Imran, I'll be there no matter what. Ahmed Hassan or no Ahmed Hassan. Rain or sunshine. Taking a train or stealing Hassan's ride. Halwa puri or no halwa puri."

The last statement, while making no sense whatsoever at the time, implied that Taha was serious about fishing. Dead serious.

I gave AH one last sneering look. "Thanks, T-Man. I know at least I can count on someone here." At that moment I decided not to let Hassan's dis affect me. It's not like this would be his first time. Besides, fishies had awaited me the next day...

***

"BAACHOO!!!" my mom yelled from downstairs on a bright and beautiful Saturday morning. "Vake up! Imran, get up and mow the lawn you fat cat!" Groan! Do I always have to wake up every weekend morning to hearing that?! She continued, "Chalo! Get up now, puthr-gee. Aghar nay ready hogaya dus minute kae undhar, thou phir dhaykna kya hotha hae tujko!" Uh oh. She threw in some Punjabi in that wake up call; my mom meant business. I shot out of bed and ran downstairs.

After mowing the lawn, I got the phone call from Taha. He was on his way to the train station. What a trooper! One of his closest friends [Ahmed] lives 2 minutes away from him and could at a minimum at least drop him off at the station, but was too friggen lazy to do even that. Kashmiris!

Okay. I realize that some of you reading this might be thinking by now that 1) Imran is a sensitive little girl or 2) Imran is a jerk. Well, you're wrong about that second one. Oh, and the first one, too. I'm a nice guy. My ripping on Ahmed Hassan pales into compairson on what he would to do me mentally later that Saturday afternoon. Read on...

Anyway, after speaking with Taha, he confirmed that he'd arrive at the train station around 1:30. His loyalty was not to go unrecognized. This time, for once, I'd make sure that I was going to pick him up on time...

So around 1:25 I was ready to go pick him up (yes, leaving around that time would in fact mean that I was going to be late again; some habits will never die out I'm afraid, Taha). But before leaving Taha sent me a text reading, "Train delay. About another 45min - 1 hr." Oh well, we still had access to the fishing resort until sunset. Plenty of time. I text back, "No worries. Cheers."

Meanwhile, back at the batcave, Mom was cooking up a storm. Saag and this special type of roti/paratha thingy that goes with it. I had to resist so I could wait and eat with Taha. This day was becoming more and more taxing. First the lawn mowing, then Taha's train delay, and now resisting taza kana!

So an hour passes and no word from Taha. He was to text me when he got closer to the Lisle train station. My mom told me to just start eating and that Taha can eat when he gets back or I could take him somewhere to eat out. Done and done. I sat down with the family at the breakfast table and began the feasting. 20 min into the food, I get a phone call. The caller ID read

Ahmed STL

So it's you? You're calling me up now, huh? I wasn't in the mood to pick up my cell. I wouldn't let some pathetic apology stop me from killing my now rolled up saag burrito. Nor was I to give him that satisfaction. I let the phone ring until for my voicemail to pick up. A few seconds later, however, the house phone rang. Hassan was persistent. Ali picked it up and after confirming it was AH, proceeded towards handing the phone to me. I tried to silently jump up and down on the table to let Ali know that I wasn't available (the table is still in tact). And in true brotherly fashion, Ali ignored my pleas and handed the phone to me.

"Hello?" I asked, playing innocent.

"Dude, so what's going on for today? Are we doin it or not?" Ahmed asked.

Are we doin it or not?! ARE WE DOIN IT OR NOT?!! Was he serious?! "Umm, yeah, dude. Taha is on his way, but since you're a sellout, he's coming by himself."

"Wait, Taha left already?"

"Uh, yes. Dude, you told me that you didn't want to come because you wanted to relax on your day off, doctor sahab."

Ahmed got annoyed, "Dude, I never said that. We never talked about it. You said you'd give me a call this morning. And, wait, why the hell would Taha leave on his own? What's up with that? He didn't tell me!"

I could tell that his tone was getting more and more serious. But I wasn't 100% sure. So I laughed it off and said, "Bro! First, I did send you a text message earlier today. But last night you kept telling me that you didn't want to come. What was I supposed to think? And as for Taha..."

"Is he pissed at me," Ahmed asked cutting me off. "What did he say?"

"Dude, relax, bro. What was he supposed to do if you weren't going to come?"

"Yeah, but for him not to even call me up. How shady is that? I mean, if you two wanted to go fishing yourselves, then you should have just told me!"

At this point, I headed upstairs so I wouldn't bother my family at the table. I got into my room and closed the door (saag burrito still in hand, of course). "Ahmed. What are you talking about, dude? Of course we wanted you there. But after last night, what were we supposed to do when you kept saying that you weren't in the mood to come out? I mean..."

Cut off again. "But that's just it! How could you not at least call and just say..."

"Bro, I sent the text message this morning and you didn't respond! And on top of that I talked to Taha earlier today and he told me that you two went out last night after hoops and you told him that you probably weren't going to come!"

"Dude, whatever! This is such crap. I never said that. I can't believe this." He sounded like he was either going to bust through my phone and ring my neck or bust out crying. I was actually starting to feel bad. Did he have a point?

No, he didn't. I reminded myself, This is Rico Suave himself. Like many a fine girl, I was not going to fall to this. Patiently, I responded, "Hassan. Look. Taha is stuck on the train. He won't get here for another 45 minutes. You can easily drive down here in that time and we'll all go together."

"No! That's not even the point. I mean, I could get ready and meet you guys there, but obviously you don't even want me to be there. I can't believe Taha. He must be pissed off at me for some reason. Did he say anything to you?"

You mean other than you're a flippin smelly little sellout? "No, man. Never. What are you talking about, bro? Trust me, he's definitely not pissed off. And we both wanted you to come. Why else do you think I was giving you such a hard time last night? The three of us had planned this together. Just come by."

Hassan sounded a little less tense. "Oh, I'll come. Just for the principle of it now. But I can't believe you guys would just go plan this without me! I can't believe Taha wouldn't just call me up before he left for the train station. And I just tried calling him and he didn't answer the phone. WTF? He has to be mad at me. Or you. Whatever. Anyway, how do you get to your place again?"

"Take 55. Exit off of Plainfield Rd and blah, blah, blah. But, dude, we don't want you to be upset when you're here. And I'm sure Taha just missed your call or maybe he just doesn't get any reception in the train." Frick! This guy was so upset and now the bachara bucha was going to drive all the way down despite this poor planning. I felt bad that we didn't do more. (Yes, reader, I inevitably gave into AH as you would have, too.)

"We'll see. It's just that I can't believe you especially would do this, Imran. Taha's pissed off, so, whatever. But you, Imran? Wait, so I take a left onto what street again to get to your place?"

"127th. And then you'll see the subdivision sign. Take another left. Bro, we seriously weren't trying to ignore you, man. Come on. You know I got mad love for you."

"Yeah, well whatever..." he said in an irate manner again. We had violated his trust. We somehow hurt him on the inside so badly he couldn't finish his sentence. I was worried if our friendship would ever be the same. If the three of us would be able to ever reach the heights of brotherhood like we once did only 24 hours ago.

"Bro, come on..." DIING DOONG!! It was the doorbell. "You can't be that mad. We still..." Wait a second! The doorbell? A light bulb just turned on. Didn't AH just ask me what street to...

I ran downstairs, phone still to my ear, "IF that's you, I'm gonna..."

Hassan started yelling, "What are you talking about! Dude? What the hell? You're just gonna yell at me now? What the..." But it was too late. I jumped over the last few steps and ran to the door and swung it open.

There in front of me was Rico Suave himself. Accompanying him was his indelible little grin that screamed, "Gotcha, fool." And in the background was Taha. I had just fallen to perhaps one of the world's oldest pranks of all time. The good old You-Don't-Think-I'm-Actually-Going-To-Miss-Out-On-This-Fishing-Trip-Adventure-Do-You? prank. Works everytime...

"YOU FRICKEN #$@#$&*@!!" I yelled while pushing and punching him at the same time. "You're such a punk, man! You should've just kept driving South to Saint Louis!"

Taha -- holding his stomach from all the laughter -- said, "I can't believe you actually fell for that! Especially while he was yelling at you and asking for directions, too!" There was much LOL-ing on their part. Rightfully, so, I guess. This was, afterall, the second time these guys did something like this to me. The first was around my birthday when the weather downtown was horrendous. There was a nasty blizzard that made a normal five minute drive into 45 minutes (no exaggeration). Regardless, Ahmed and Taha said that they'd come and take me out to Bandera, so I was to go meet them there directly. On the way there, Ahmed called me and told me that he got into a bad accident and, just like on this fishing prank, he sounded very serious and extremely upset (he has an Acura TL mashaAllah). The prank became more complex when he had expected me to pay for the damage since, as per his logic, he was coming out to see me. I'm not cheap, but I'm also not a baller so I had to be as political about it as possible. After getting off the phone with an infuriated Hassa, I quickly called up Taha about it and suggested that Hassan should first talk to his insurance, but even Taha was on his side, which made me believe the story even more (note to self: stop believing everything Taha tells you). Anyway, when I got off the phone with Taha I started heading into the restaurant. The next thing I see as I headed in was that same indelible little grin on Ahmed as he waited for me inside with Taha. They had been there the entire time. Naturally, an ensuing snowball fight had broken out after that.

Continuing...

After chillaxing around the house for an hour, we were finally on our way. Despite my repeated efforts in forcing Taha & AH to have some food at the crib, we ended up at the local Wendy's. Of course, they kept giving me a hard time about me finishing up that saag burrito in front of them (saag also happens to be Taha's favorite dish), but they didn't want my mom to make more food. So Taha and Ahmed instead enjoyed Wendy's dollar menu by pretty much ordering everything on it. I also allowed myself to indulge a refreshing Frosty.

About 15 minutes later, we arrived. Plainfield Fishing Resort. Destiny had finally greeted us.

*** to be continued ***