Dawah to a Blonde...

Salaam

...I have a problem. Our intern (= administrative pawn) at work happens to be very attractive. And blonde. And hot. And hot. Not to mention very hot. I know what you're thinking, "And how, exactly, is that a problem, Imran?" Well, the "problem" is that I'm not sure what approach to dawah I should take in order for me to marry her (see, I'm trying to be as halal about this as possible).

So anyway, being inexperienced at this, I naturally turned to the advice of my friends who are perhaps better versed in dawah techniques. After studying a plethora of methodologies, I've broken it down to the following approaches:

1. Farooq Alikhan Dawah: "Salaam. Damn, you're hot. I'm a baller. Marry me and convert. Thanks."

2. Taha Ghani Dawah: "Salaaaaamzz. Damn, I'm hot. Convert and I just might marry you. Or at least flirt."

3. Ahmed Hassan Dawah: "Hey, how you doin? Me? I'm a doctor, babe. I save lives and wanna save yours from hell."

4. Badie Ali Dawah: "As Salaamu Alaikoom wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatahu. Kayfahalaqa, habibi? And by the way, I'm the operations director of a major media conglomerate. Yeah, I can pencil you in for a nikkah."

5. Aladdin Nasr Dawah: "Salaamz! I'll build you a mansion and let you look at my massive chest if you convert. Holla!"

6. AJ Dawah: "As Salaamu Alaikoom. I just audited some of the work you did and, well, let's just say if you don't convert and marry Imran, you're going to have bigger problems on your plate..."

Eventually I'll implement one of the above mentioned techniques. In the meantime, Farooq gave me the following immediate advice:

"You will need to attach a picture so that we can evaluate her 'hotness' and determine what form of dawah needs to be implemented here....certain test subjects only respond to particular forms of dawah and so proper analysis is necessary for a successful deployment of services."

Note: The above is actually based on excerpts taken from email correspondences throughout the work day. You could say I was bored, overly excited, and a definite loser. Me? I'd rather say that I just need to get married, yo!!

Later