In Loving Memory...

Well, it had to be done. A memorial of sorts for my fish. My favorite one was the big one you see here. Him (though my mom referred to it as "she") along with the small one that's kinda underneath the classy plastic plant (he may be hard to see) were a part of my life for about 5 great years. The other fish were added more so for the sake of having a supporting cast, ya know?

Often times, my grandmother (Nani Ami) would tell me on the weekends that for dinner, we should fry up the fish; especially the big one. Little did she know that after laughing with her about it, I'd quietly go up to my bathroom and cry for a few minutes at such horrid thoughts. Through my tear-filled eyes, I'd look at the fish and say, "No. Not today guys. Not today and not ever" as I clenched my fist and waved it at nothing in particular. And for a couple great moments, the big fish would look at me as though he understood all my problems and fears. He knew I wouldn't betray him. It was as if he wanted to say to me, "Don't let the pressures of the world get to you, Imran. I know you'd never eat me. Now look at me swim in one of only two directions I can swim in."

We had a good relationship. I'd feed them. They'd eat the food. We were a big happy family. I guess you should know, if you didn't know already, that we placed the fish home ("fish tank" sounds so impersonal, doesn't it?) in our bathroom. It was a perfect fit. We had the sea / lighthouse theme going on in the bathroom with the lighthouse wall paper border, lightly painted blue walls, pictures of fish on the soap dispenser, a couple model lighthouses (one on top of the toilet), and things of that nature. You'd probably be shocked to know that some people felt that their privacy was stripped from them, too, because they insisted that the fish stared at them. I guess I should also mention that the fish home was placed right text to the toilet. "Stripped of their privacy?" I ask! Nay! Rather, they have been given non-judemental companions while...umm...taking care of business. I mean, how fricken cool is that? I'm sure if my house was featured on MTV Cribs, people would be like, "DANG, man! Them Shakur's bathroom is tiiight, yo! They've got a Gilligan's Island-like theme or somethin crazy-fresh like dat all up in their bathroom. And they've got fish in there, too, dude!" Biases aside, I can seriously imagine having a conversation like that.

So, at this point, you may be asking, "Imran, you speak so highly of the fish, but it's all in the past tense. What happened to them?" Glad you asked....

So, over the course of a few months, my mom would mention in passing, "Why don't you get rid of the fish since it's such a big hassle to clean it up?" Could you imagine my rage upon hearing these words from my own mother?! She was the one that had to be the most understanding and protective. I mean, it's in her job title as being a mother, for crying out loud!

Despite my rage and desire to protect (had I turned into a mother of sorts for these fish?), my mom's words would echo through my mind on an occasional basis. Then, I started to think, "What if I set them free? What if I'm holding them back here in this 20 gallon fish home when they could be exploring the world and meeting other fish? What if they'll blame me on the Day of Judgement for that? What if..." Oh my god! What if I really did become a mom?!

Upon this tremendous enlightenment, I decided to cut the umbilical cord. No, I didn't flush them down the toilet (crocidiles in the sewer system would eat them, of course!). Instead <deep breath>, I decided to give them away to a local, small fish and pet store.

This was done nearly 3 months ago. It's tough. I want to tell all parents out there reading this (which is really to say just my mother) that when you let your kids go initially, it can be heart wrenching. Looking into their bubbly little eyes in a bucket of water (note: don't put your kids in a bucket of water, sicko! Just patronize me for a little while longer...), your heart will drop to your stomach. But, know this: It's for the best. Life is to be for living afterall...

Cheers.