Adventures of Raafae and Hazik in the US: Day 1

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Well, two of my favorites guys from the UK are visiting us this week along with my khala (aunt; my mom's older sister). One is a legend in his own right and a fellow blogger, the Young Raafae of the Shire. The other is his counterpart and ally, the Young Hazik (my nephew). Both guys are around 12 or so and together, this tandem is a force to be reckoned with.

An annoying, though lovable force...

Anyway, I thought I would take a moment to chronicle their adventures during their short one week stay here. They came last night and the first thing they tried to do after the ceremonial hugs and salaams was steal my Blackberry from work. Actually, that action is becoming ceremonious in its own right because the last time I saw them, a couple months back during my Brussels-London tour, they did the same thing. The only way I got it back that time was with the promise of Belgium chocolates. (Works every time, folks. And Belgium chocolates probably work for any situation, so you married guys takes notes.) So, anyway, for tonight I had a strategic preemptive strike of my own: I hid my Blackberry even before stepping into the house. I told them I left it at work. Brilliant, I know. But, I couldn't do away with my personal cell phone as we all know I'm way too in demand to not be accessible. As a result, my personal cell defaulted to become their new let's-annoy-Imran-by-taking-something-of-his thingy. So, for a good part of their night, they tried multiple tactics to pull it out of my pocket (distracting me, hitting me with an empty 2 liter 7UP bottle...you know, the usual).

So, Monday night came to a quick end as they were recuperating from jet lag. Tonight, I came back home from school just before they were off to bed so they effectively used their time to harass me as much as possible. I think their goal was to make up for lost time during the day.

Now, allow me to break down some of their observations about me and Amreeka:

Observations of Raazik (as I will now collectively refer to them as):
1) I think one of the first things I was told tonight is how Americans LOVE doughnuts. Being a Dunkin Donuts connoisseur, I couldn't argue with that, but I particularly appreciate the way they arrived at this conclusion: At the grocery store, we bought a small tray of fresh donuts sealed in a plastic container. Once the plastic container is properly closed, opening it isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. They were baffled by our "over-protection" of donuts. Hey, all I can say is that here in America, we will invest our money to keep our donuts as fresh as possible, but never use that money for radical ideas like free health care.

2) My blog. They went through my blog, which can be scary for me due to some (at times, not always!) potentially inappropriate material. But, hey, they're European, they've probably seen more in life than I have, right?!

3) Girls. And let me specific: Sana Yusuf and another Sana. Raafae, as he was badgering me about my blog, said that courtesy of Facebook, they apparently saw all my friends and the two names he happened to remember were one Sana Yusuf and one Sana Khwaja. Oh, how funny that is, they will never know. And neither will most of you! Just kidding, but, in all seriousness it was pretty funny as I stood there being questioned in an almost fatherly-like way, "Who is Sana Yusuf?! And who is Sana Khwaja?!" I felt guilty for some reason...

4) The Homer Simpson American culture. Hazik couldn't stop hitting a brotha in the gut while I was eating some phenomenal homemade biryani. "No wonder Americans are so fat," he commented. He compared me to Homer and I told him that Homer was my hero (how can't he be?). Hazik immediately retorted, "No, you're Homer's hero." Touche! (When did kids become so quick witted, by the way?)

I was finally saved from further insightful social commentary from Raazik thanks to a timely phone call from Aladdin (I had to run up to my room and lock the door). I felt like I was talking to a girl, but it was the only way I could talk in relative peace to Aladdin, so I went through with it. The fact that I talked to Aladdin under the warmth of my bed covers doesn't mean anything. Relax! I'm just kidding. I had to sit by my door to prevent a break-in as Raazik figured out how to unlock it from the outside.

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Let's see how the rest of the week pans out...

Cheers, mate