AH's, Reef's and Z's Holiday Fun

Hi

We have documented evidence here, folks, about how AH, Zareen, and Aref intend to spend their holiday season...

Actually, the fact of the matter is that they recently emailed me asking me to post this on my blog so that everyone can share in their happiness around this time of the year. So, without further ado, I now give you the talented trio in some gay holiday cheer:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1434756126

Look at how happy they are! Come on, let's hear it. The collective "Awwww!"


Happy Holidays from AH, Reef, and Z!!

74 to 6

I mean, what else do I have to say about my Madden skillz? Then again, I was only playing against a novice of thb game. Yep, Umar.

My First BP

Hi

Well, this past Thursday I hosted my first ever BP (Bears Party) amongst the BP List guys. This list is pretty big consisting of loyal Bears fans that basically email and update each other about the latest and greatest Bears news and our own thoughts and analysis from the game (the list actually extends out to become the Bulls List as well as Cubbies list, too, during the Bears offseason). Fahad/Masood usually begins each week with his prediction followed by Kamran Riaz (aka Jay Mariotti's protege - and that's not a compliment). After the game, we all sound off on what we thought of the Bears' game play and unfortunately this season the BP list has shared more disappointment and criticism than we would've expected or liked. Other role players in the BP list include Irfan/Bungu/Brian with his verbal assaults (i.e. uncontrolled, Hulk-like yelling); Sikander with his constant reminding that Lovie Smith sucks; OZ talking about how great he is in predicting Favre's winning season; Eyad and his random picture emailing and accompanying caption commentary; Hot Chipz Chippa with his intense love triangle (him, Archuletta, Chris Duhon on the Bulls); and many others who I'm leaving out, but are all critical components of the list.

Anyway, each Bears game most of these guys try to meet up at someone's crib where we not only enjoy watching our favorite team, but also enjoy food and the general company. So, as I recently upgraded our Dish to get the NFL Network and HD, I volunteered to host Thursday night's disappointing game that has essentially sealed any chances for a post season spot (pending Divine Intervention which I am now praying for). Having the NFL Network plus HD is a true blessing not only for the obvious fact that it's football in HD, but also because of the acceptance that KR has now given me after upgrading to HD. Sigh. The things I do to keep up with the Jones's.

So, Thursday's BP seemed to be successful and as much as I would like to credit my hosting abilities, I am not foolish enough to think that it had nothing to do with the food and particularly the buffet of SGPs (spicy gyros pizza from Italian Express) followed by ice cream sundaes, red velvet cake, and homemade brownies courtesy of the legendary pajama-wearing Farooq. In translation, what the food menu really looked like was a line-up of a coronary followed by high cholesterol and some sloth. For some, such a set-up would be a total health nightmare and a food line-up that should be reported to the FDA for immediate action; for men, however, there was nothing more satisfying – not even a woman’s touch (because with a woman’s touch, you have to live with the repercussions like emotional commitment; with food, the only type of commitment you have is with the toilet and for many men that’s a commitment more readily welcomed than a woman’s nagging).

I don’t think I’m going to get into much of the disappointing and – again – winnable game against the Redskins, because that’s a pain I am not willing to delve into without serious psychiatric assistance. Instead, what I’m gonna do is post pictures, something I truly excel at:

Masood: He doesn't need the touch of a woman anyway. And can you blame him? Look who he gets to sit on...

Hey, guys, do you realize that there's a game on? You know, Da Bears? (Hmm, looks like the early stages of the post-SGP knock out.)

The master gourmet chef prepares the final touches on the sundae

Guys? The game? Ok, nevermind...

And this is what it’s all about, folks. Brotherhood. In this case, though, it looks a little more serious. Or questionable. I’m going to blame this on the SGPs and sundaes – that’s the only logical explanation.

And that was pretty much the night. Well, as attendees of the BP know, that really wasn’t it. The night also consisted of some wii action, which lasted for 10 minutes. But the main source of entertainment (not “scare” as some would say) was me casually walking into the living room without my shirt on as if this was normal for me to do. The crowd reaction wasn’t comforting, but I wasn’t gonna let that discourage me. Look, everyone has their “thing,” right? Irfan likes to yell. Tariq likes to eat a few rotis in the morning. Sikander likes peanut butter on everything. Taha likes steroids. Hassan likes his hair. Fahad likes himself (a lot). Farooq likes to hate on everything - especially me. Sami likes to know how many people are coming to my house before committing. And I like to occasionally take my shirt off in social situations…

Well, mad props to Fahad for embracing (literally) this tradition of mine and taking a picture that’s, well, not suitable for you readers (or potential rishtas) to view. Just think of Janet Jackson’s infamous picture and I’ll leave it at that. The only thing that bothered me was Irfan’s involuntary body reaction (he ran up to my bedroom to hurl) and the random flashes from people’s cell phones. At this point, I have no clue where the hell those pictures could be and I’m afraid to ask. But, I trust my brothers in Islam not to go out there and shame me (i.e. ruin my chances to get married). And, yes, I did just bring religion into it! Can you really fault me?!

While I’m giving to props, I just wanna give props to EVERYONE for coming out to my hood, which is apparently “far,” even from people who live 15 minutes away (Chippa, you jerk!)! But, seriously, it was cool having everyone there and a blessing for the 2pac household (especially on a night where it snowed about 5 inches). So, MAD JZK to all. Special recognition to Tariq for supplying the drinks at the last second and Farooq for hooking up the brownies he made himself, the wii, and the ice cream (and to both of them for sticking around afterward to help clean!).

Alhamdullilah, it’s great to have such brothers even if the Bears f-ing lost.

Until the next BP…

Bears: Unable to Plow Themselves into Victory

AA

Perhaps the missing ingredient for the Bears this season is a few grains of rice and chicken that, when mixed together by the right person, would put together a perfect combination of the sweet taste of victory.

At least my good friend Fahad (aka Masood; aka Mo.Lester) and his mom know how to put together a winning combination: A successful BP (Bears Party) with the awesome and delectable taste of plow; a Pakistani traditional dish that mixes rice and chicken in a way that waters your mouth like the way talking about himself does to Fahad (i.e. excessively). Fahad's BP was long awaited and at least ten of us from the BP List enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, we can't say the same thing for the Bears and they way they played that game (or, all season long as I should say). Throughout most of the game, we maintained a good lead over a what seemed like a broken Eli Manning who looked like he was forced into the game by his father and secretly wishing that he was painting our nation's beautiful countryside.

But, as fate would have it, we missed a number of key plays that eventually lead to our collapse. Rex Grossman, for starters, threw an amazing bomb to Devin Hester who was unable to make the play (jeez, this guy’s speed is unreal though; he blew his double coverage by at least 5 yards a piece). Soon after, we in horrific fashion failed to reach the first down. This one offensive mishap – just one play – seemed to have a direct domino affect on the rest of the team. Our defense, playing most of the game true to Super Bowl-worthy form (without Archuletta, I may add), collapsed. And Eli Manning seemed to finally grow a pair, get his head out of fulfilling some bizarre fantasy to be a suppressed painter no more, and took advantage of our degradation.

They took they lead and they kept it by the end of the 4^th, giving us a tragically and potentially season-ending loss. We have a 5-7 record now and failed to reach .500. Achieving 9-7 to have a remote chance seems foolish to believe, but as a fan, I’m left with little to do.

The bright side of the evening was Fahad’s great hospitality. The pre-main course chips and guacamole hook-up was great, but the follow-up main course hit the spot. It was one of those “Damn, that was so good I just wanna sleep it off, wake up in a couple hours, and eat more” meals. He also killed it on the drinks providing a wide array of drink options that you typically don’t see (i.e. Diet Cherry Coke).

Well, at this point, I’m so dejected that all I really want to do is focus on the food and not the game. But, this will do for now. Mad JZK to my man Fahad for coming through and being a gracious host, mA. May Allah reward you & your family for it! Ameen!

Be warned, though, I’m coming over the rest of the week for some of that plow leftovers! (Yes, in case you couldn't tell, plow is absolutely one of my most favorite dishes!)

Cheers

To the victor goes the spoils...

Hi

This pains me a lot, but I have to post this link to my brother's blog about him (finally) beating me in Madden.

Losing in Madden is the equivalent to being circumcised. That's the best and only way to put it.

And now that I've lost, I have to give up my throne to the winner's chair and set-up the Xbox next time. This process in our household, while appears simple or harmless enough, is excruciating. In fact, scholars of Islamic jurisprudence should almost rule it haram. I should know because I've put Umar through this on so many, many, many occasions. Like he's had to set it up a lot because I beat him on average by 40 points. Traditionally, he's been like the 07-08 Dolphins whereas I've been Tom Brady-Randy Moss-Wes Welker.

And now my streak has been tarnished. I stand before you a mere child. Read all about it:
http://ushakur.blogspot.com/2007/11/victory.html


I shall avenge myself!

Work: The ONLY Frontier

Hi


Can you imagine having a job like this? Click here for amazing photos of the great white in mid attack. From the article: "The wildlife photographer Chris Fellows spends over half of each year waiting off the coast of South Africa to capture the sharks at their grisly work."


Fellows remarked, from the article, "'To see a perfectly streamlined great white slowly cruising in clear water with shafts of light bouncing off its back is like watching a sports car effortlessly cruise past you on the freeway. It is just one of those moments that makes you appreciate a beautiful creation.'" I wonder how close this guy actually was in getting these pictures? And how scary would that be?! I mean, basically, you're looking at Jaws up close and personal in a way Steven Spielberg could have only wished back in the 70's.


Honestly, though, I would love to do something like this as my career. How many people when asked, "What do you do for a living?" can pull up photos like that and say, "This..." It's pretty unreal. If not taking pictures of the great white killing seals, I would love to do most of anything you see on channels like Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, and that remarkable Planet Earth series.


Those guys are lucky. You get to go out into the wilderness on real life adventures. You get to witness first hand the raw beauty and power of nature. And with that, I would imagine, you would have to have a tremendous level of appreciation for everything that God has manifested. When watching TV shows or looking at the pictures found in the above link, you can't help but to feel in awe and at the same time powerless. In awe for the sheer magnificence of nature in action. Powerless because you know that nature is constantly running its course with or without regard to your life. And when you look at the bigger picture, you have to begin thinking, What is creating and supporting all of this? And the answer for me will always be Allah. Only Allah can create things that are beyond our imagination.

Let's face it, God's creativity is unparallel. In fact, I contend that Allah is the Ultimate Artist. There were nights during my glory DePaul years in Lincoln Park where I would walk out to LSD (Lake Shore Drive) on the beach and would love nothing more than to stare out at the lake with the moon's reflection. The set-up was serene and perfect. The details flawless. And each girl I took there, loved it. Oops, I mean...

The analogy of the painter really comes from when you're looking at something like the moon over Lake Michigan because you almost feel like you can go out there and touch it. Touch the stars. Touch the moon. How remarkable is that? That's when you feel powerless. That there's "something out there" controlling and managing all of this without regard to you, though you are a part of the Painter's landscape and portfolio.

I know I'm kind of jumping everywhere from my dream job to the beauty and splendor of Allah's creation, but it all goes hand-in-hand with my deeply reflective nature. Of course, if you were to ask my brothers, they would define "reflective" more so as "day dreaming" or "Imran loves to waste time sleeping in sun spots during the middle of a day like Garfield thinking about fictious things like being the next Jacques Cousteau." That's also true, too. But, I digress from my tangents (if that makes any sense)...

So instead of being on the wilderness frontier, I get to live the dream of working in Corporate America. Where the closest thing to watching a shark attack its prey is me listening to an angry client about why their friggen system isn't working and how they plan to engage in a blood bath of shark-attacking fury until their system is put live. Hooray for me.

You should note that my current train of thought comes after the end of an extended Thanksgiving weekend where I'm feeling bitter that come Tuesday morning (I took Monday off to prolong the inevitable pain as much as possible), I have to be a responsible professional adult living in the real world where the moon doesn't look as magnificient as it once did over Lake Michigan in the middle of the night with different girls for different nights.

Okay, on different nights by myself, but I'll take any escape-from-reality moment I can get, dang it.

Cheers

Taha's Home Office.

Central command

Hijabi with an Axe

Hi

What? You think women that wear the hijab are oppressed or submissive? You think they can't take charge and protect themselves when they need to?

I give you this:



I am both scared and exited.

Salaam

Imran on Broadway: Scene 1

Hi

Alright, folks. I'm a little frustrated after some shady business went down after a tafseer class I attend on Sundays. You see, I was totally CB'd* by a friend of mine after class. I'd actually like to tell you about this particular story in a play format because I think that all the world is a stage and you all want to watch me. So, here's the scene:

*Ask your significant other what "CB'd" means, btw. Or anyone of my friends as they have done this to me far too many times.

Scene 1; set-up: Taking place in the modern era. A young, strapping young lad named Imran finds himself alone with an uncle that he kinda knows after Sunday tafseer class has come to an end.

Uncle that Imran kinda knows: So. [slight pause] What are you doing?

Imran: [Smiles on the inside thinking to himself:] I love when I'm asked that question. I mean, I know what they're trying to get at (i.e. what do you do for a living), but the way they ask is kinda comical if you interpret it literally: "Right now, Uncle? Well, just standing here talking to you." Or, "Well, I'm gonna go watch the Bears game now, but if you wanna hang out, that's cool. Weird, but cool. I do like the initiative."

[what Imran actually replies with] What am I doing?

Uncle that Imran kinda knows: Yes, you're doing IT work, right?

Imran: Oh! No, that's actually my brother.
[In a cool, professional-sounding tone:] I'm in pharmaceutical research.

Uncle that Imran kinda knows: [eyes widened] Oh! Are you looking to get married?

Imran: [Imran pauses slightly to give thought to the following:] "Am I looking to get married? Dude!! Don't you remember many, many years ago how it was to be single? Now can you imagine being single in this type of upbringing? You're like asking me if I am planning on breathing air for survival later today!" Or, "WTF? Are you serious?!" Or, "Well, that depends, how does your daughter or niece look like? Do you have pictures? Where's Aunty? At least that way I can get a better idea of how I'm gonna respond."]

[Ok, so obviously Imran's response was going to be something far less to-the-point. And he was going to try and act as "professional" about it as possible without giving any notable hints that the uncle's question really excited Imran and was the high point of Imran's weekend. But suddenly, an unsuspecting friend walks into the room having heard the uncle's last question.]

The "friend": He's already married.

Imran: [feeling uneasy and awkward because the uncle may actually believe that] Umm...haha...no, I'm always open to the...

The "friend": Just make sure you ask your wife in Pakistan, Imran...

Uncle that Imran kinda knows: Hahaha! [Walks away laughing]

[The so-called friend leaves. Imran is standing in the room. Alone. Alone and confused. Alone, confused, and hurt. The story of his life with women.]

End Scene 1.

Do Me Event #5: A Last Minute Success

AA Do Me Crew

A brief recap of the successful Do Me 5 to make up for a lack of pictures. Also, some critical information regarding Do Me 6:

(1) For those that missed out, you're on warning and/or probation. We hit up Outback and most were satisfied (especially our waiter as Aladdin inadvertently tipped him $40, MashaAllah). We then proceeded to Dairy Queen where we had good dessert and then played football in the parking lot. By the way, to make a statement about canceling his Do Me Evite, Fahad refused to allow me to pay for his dinner in my attempt to feel good about myself. (For the record: Fahad's contributions to Do Me are phenom, but the organization and bringing of people together is a burden I will carry.)

(2) I had a conversation with Aladdin on the way to Dairy Queen, but we both admitted it was difficult without me talking to him via my blog. Thus, this blog entry.

(3) The lack of presence of Saint Louis-bound Taha was poignant as we noticed that his evil counterpart, Hassan, was by himself. Attendees included: Eyad, Aladdin, Ahmed Hassan, myself, Badie, Fahad, and Reef. On that note, please officially welcome Reef to the DO ME Crew. (Hey, if we accepted Hassan, we can certainly welcome aboard Reef.) Congratulations, Reef.

(4) "Spider-man" and "Superman" are not necessarily the names of superheroes. "Eiffel Tower" also has new meaning. High Five, Fahad! Aladdin has an abundance of knowledge on these things; please see him for info.

(5) Fashion: Despite my disagreement, I was singled out by Aladdin as having a lack of style with my 1990s cargo pants and life jacket style. The life jacket and the matching coat over it will be the latest in '08, folks; get ready. Sami Haque was elected as trendiest dresser/most style despite Fahad's staunch disagreement, though it was Badie Ali that stole the night with his fashion presence (or dominance, I should say). Hassan promptly displayed his PRADA loafers, but was disqualified because you should at least buy your own clothing/accessories (Reef did note that Hassan's accessories are tops among Do Me guys). Fahad plans on ripping his jeans to become trendier. Maybe I should do the same to my khakis by ripping out the cargo pockets? Or if I keep them as is, I'll become a painter as Alaa mentioned.

(6) Do Me 6: The seven us that attended will InshaAllah be available next Saturday, 03-Nov-2007, for Do Me 6 consisting of football. Be ready to now do each other on the field. We're slated for an afternoon slot. Clear your schedules in advance. Oh yes, a lengthy, blog-worthy email invite for it is inevitable...

Until then