STL: Day 1, Part 1

AA

Well it's 11am here in the Lou and as I write this blog entry here in the beautiful Ghani home, you can just imagine that everyone here is still sleeping. But that's fine because I get to enjoy Taha's basement which houses a 60-something inch TV. The TV makes writing this entry rather difficult as I find myself gazing at it with loving affection much like a mother would gaze in the eyes of her newborn.

So, you should know that this STL trip has been nearly a fricken decade in the making. I've known my boy Taha for that long and during the course of that time we've often fantasized of this moment actually materializing. It's almost surreal. I'm just trying to take it all in. Seeing both Taha and the Prince (and more importantly, their families) in their element is phenom.

But the STL trip actually started in the Pac household on Thursday night...

We intended to take off Thursday night after T was done with his birthday dinner with his in-laws. But because of the immensely thick fog in Chicago and Saint Louis, we decided that we would take off Friday morning right after fajr. So that night we did what most bachelors would do on a Thursday night. We watched Dil Chata Hai; a Bollywold movie. The movie mirrored our lives as it dealt with three desi guys who discovered themselves and the meaning of love. And as we learned from the movie, love just happens. You can't control it, it just fricken happens. Much like the expression sh!t happens, well so does love according to Bollywood. So, if we draw some parallels here, we will inevitably conclude the following: Sh!t happens. Love happens. Therefore love = sh!t and sh!t = love. What a great message, huh? Okay, so maybe that's not the message the movie tried to convey, but my insight is nonetheless spot on, right?

Just kidding. So, anyway, what we did actually conclude was that Taha = Akash; the young, full-of-life, cool, jokester whose longest relationship lasts two weeks. Hassan = Sameer; the young, I-got-your-back-even-if-the-camera-fades-my-character-out, hopeless romantic with the best body and dance moves. As for me I was Sid; the young philosopher, painter, and master of words when it came to pimptastic lines like, "I haven't painted my best one as yet" when talking to a woman about which painting was my favorite and looking at her with a deliberately intense, passionate look. Well, based on that I'm sure you can make your own conclusions as to whether or not that's accurate, but you get the idea: I'm pimptastic.

The highlight of the night, however, came with The Aerial Launch Attack of Imran: In the middle of the movie, we took a small break while Hassan talked to one of his many lovers. To kill time, Taha proposed to me that we play this launching game while waiting for Hassan. The game is simple; Taha lies on the floor and bends his knees as if he's going to give someone a joola ride or do the bicycle exercise. Enter me who uses the base of Taha's feet as the launch seat. Taha then cocks his feet back to see just how far he can fling me. I doubted him and it evidently stupid for me to do so. On the first go, Taha makes me fly a good five feet, but like a graceful cat, I landed on my feet. The second go-around went a little differently, though...

Taha was convinced that he could do a better job. I didn't get enough air time, apparently, on the first launch. So on the second one, Taha bends his knees closer to his chest than ever before. He also held onto my feet. At the time before the launch, I thought to myself, Why is he grabbing my feet? How am I going to balance myself? What if I fall flat of my face? Okay, shut up and go with it, Imran... Then the launch sequence began. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...TAKE OFF!

As I was in the air, I noticed that my head was but a few inches from touching the ceiling fan. Wow, I thought, I'm pretty high. Then I thought, Hmm, if I'm this high, my feet are probably not touching the ground. That's going to be a problem because how am I going to balance my...

THUD!!!

For you history buffs, you've naturally heard of the Shot That Was Heard Around the World, right? Well, this sound was similar in that it was the Butt Hitting My Living Room Floor at 2am That Was Heard in All of Plainfield. At the sound of the thud, I feared that my massive body's impact upon the floor was going to send shockwaves throughout the land and most importantly to my mother's and Nani's bedrooms, whereupon my imminent death would soon follow upon their awakening. But, after that fear dissipated then the throbbing booty ache permeated my mind and body and I could swear I lost consciousness for 5 seconds.

It turns out that not having my feet at my disposal was in fact critical to the launch. According to Hassan, I was completely horizontal in the air. And I apparently was looking over at him with a childish, badmash smile while in the air. That smile vanished at the time of impact and I guess my eyes rolled up in pain. Despite this trauma, we started cracking up and went into pure hysteria as to what happened. If you're not following me or picturing what happened, then I've failed in describing what happened, because that launch had to be the funniest thing that happened to me in a long time.

Well, perhaps not as funny as when, about an hour later, I was in my boxers only and tackled to the ground by Taha while Hassan took pictures with his camera phone. That was equally as traumatic to me as the fall was.

That pretty much concluded the night. The next day, began the official trek to the Lou...

Alright, that's it for now. I can't sit in one position too long because my butt still hurts. Part 2 coming soon.

Cheers.