Practical Joke at Work Gone Wrong

Hi

So, a couple nights ago I'm getting ready to leave work, right? It was about 7:30 and I was already running 30 minutes late to meet up with my boy Tariq before he heads off to India to get himself hitched. We would've probably hit up ColdStone afterwards, so you can imagine just how badly I was trying to get out of the office.

I gather all my things and do my standard do-I-have-everything check. Cell phone? Check. BlackBerry? Got it. iPod? Yes. Wallet? No doubt. Car keys? ... I said, car keys? ...

Nothing.

No big deal, I thought. It's probably lost underneath my messy stack of randomly placed confidential and critical documents scattered across my desk. I shovel through the piles and find nothing. This is odd. Then I thought, Idiot! Look in your coat pocket! But there was nothing in there.

Then I start to recall my steps to see whether or not I actually remember bringing the keys into the office. I was pretty sure that I did, so I had no choice but to walk to my car in the freezing weather and see if I possibly left it in there. I was ready to shoot myself if I did that. Knowing my own limitations, I didn't rule the possibility out. So I walk out to my car which is of course all the way at the end of the parking lot where lighting is extremely poor. Great, I'm finna get jacked up in this! Of course, I recalled that I work in posh Northbrook where the worst thing that could happen to you is that some rich guy would forcibly give you keys to his "outdated" 2006 E 500 AMG Mercedes.

So I get to my car and I can't see my keys. They weren't in the ignition. Or any of the car seats. I couldn't see it anywhere. Now I was getting a bit worried. I run back into the office. After thawing myself out, I re-trace all the steps I made that day in the office. I went to the third floor where my office is at...nothing. I went to the first floor where I met with some colleagues earlier in the day...nothing. Conferences rooms...nothing. I saw the Polish cleaning lady and talked to her (mainly by hand gestures as her English was not quite there)...nothing. Desperate, I went to the washroom...nothing (thank God!).

Fortunately, I knew I had a spare key in the car (not sure why it was in there, but Alhamdullilah!). So I called a locksmith and he came out about 30 minutes later. It was now 8:30pm and I regrettably had to cancel on Tariq. The locksmith comes out and in less than 30 seconds - no exaggeration here - he pops my car door open and takes a wire and unlocks my ride. $65 for a 30 second job. That's pretty nice...for him. I ask if he can give me a break and he tells me that this sorta job typically costs $95 at least. (I then realized that I'm in the wrong fricken industry.)

Well, I was well on my way home and at that point not too concerned about the missing keys because I was pretty tired and confused as to how my keys could've been misplaced (they were no where to be found in the car).

So, the next morning on the way in to work, I check my BlackBerry as I normally do. I get an email from one of my project assistants and it reads:

"OMG you didn't get it. [After reading that I was like, Oh hell no...] I left you a "ransom" note yesterday before I left. Your keys are under your computer. I am soooooo sorry. Please don't hate me; you were supposed to get the note. I'll make it up to you, I feel terrible.

On another note,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. SHAKER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. [It was my bday that morning]

I deserve pay back, I'm so sorry."

I called her up when I got in and she's like, "I love you??" I joked telling her that she had better say that. She insisted on paying the bill and I tried to refuse, but she said that she'd feel like the worst person on earth if I didn't, so I took the money after she threw it on my desk (along with a snickers bar) and literally ran down to the first floor when I tried to give her the money back. She even tried locking me in by standing outside of the office door on the third floor and putting all her weight into it. I just laughed and she ran downstairs. (I think others at work were wondering what the hell was going on between us!)

Anyway, that's my story. Good times. My office mate was surprised that I was laid back about it. I figured it was all in good fun, but that the joke just never made it to me like it was supposed to (I never saw the "ransom note").

Any ideas for payback, folks?! ;)

Cheers